studious clever teen using drugs

(65 Posts)
Claybury Sun 27-Oct-13 18:57:32

Anyone have experience of a teen using drugs and working really hard for GCSE almost as if to prove drugs aren't harmful ? Maybe among his druggie friends he IS the smart one ? ( he has told me he is the least likely to develop a drug problem because he's the clever one...- to which I replied perhaps that means he has the lost to lose?)
Btw he's not exceptionally clever, he thinks he'll get A's in most subjects, he has no other hobbies or interest/ no sports. Does his homework then goes out on a weekend. Says things like ' I got an A in my French mock, can I go out later?

By drugs I mean regular weed, plus mdma / ketamine / speed / 2cb during summer holidays. He thinks it's all fine, he's in control, doesn't smoke on a school night.

AnarchoSyndicalistMumofthree Tue 15-Apr-14 23:27:40

I have used drugs since I was approx 11 years old and I'm educated to post-graduate level, married, hold down a professional career and look after three children.

I continue to poly-drug use now with the only real exceptions being alcohol and nicotine. My current drug of choice is d-methamphetamine ('crystal meth') but I have used all the aforementioned substances on many occasions.

My eldest 14 year old daughter knows of mine and my hubby's extensive drug use and has shown no signs of taking a similar path. I have neither discouraged or encouraged her only informed her of my experiences both positive and negative. She says she isn't ready to experiment and I respect her maturity with regards to this decision.

I suspect I know much more about the drug use of her peers than any other parent in her circle as result of our openness.

Nice people use drugs too but many problems result directly from prohibition rather than toxicity and seemingly do little to stop her friends from purchasing almost anything they want on the blackmarket.

Maryz Fri 11-Apr-14 15:50:54

Fucking zombie threads hmm

Maryz Fri 11-Apr-14 15:49:28

ds1 was a bright hardworking (drug-taking) 14 year old.

He became a 15 year old dropout.

Short term, your son might manage, but the prognosis for a heavy user at his age is very poor.

NurseyWursey Fri 11-Apr-14 15:40:12

This is an old thread.

msrisotto Fri 11-Apr-14 15:37:02

I wouldn't personally go down the moral guilt trip avenue. It doesn't work. He doesn't see a moral issue with it, lots of people don't, it'll just alienate you to him.

I would use a motivational interviewing approach which is adopted widely in drug and alcohol services and is easy to use. A simple pros and cons list of continuing to use and discontinuing use. Done together, with him coming up with the points. It will help you see where he is coming from and if he is missing out any of the (what will be to you) glaring potential negatives then you can talk about that.

WTFlike Fri 11-Apr-14 15:11:59

My brother started at your sons age, he's 43 now, lives in a bedsit and has finally got a temp job sweeping the streets. My brother was a lovely bright boy, now he's reclusive, paranoid and sad.

Do whatever you can to stop him.

lottie82 Fri 11-Apr-14 14:56:13

my friends and I were heavily into recreational drug use from the ages of 15 - early twenties.

we've all gone to gain degrees and good jobs (not to say I don't know of people who have developed health problems due to excessive cannabis use), inc PHD's and managerial positions.

of course recreational drug use has lots of side effects, but it's more common than most people think and isn't always a "slippery slope".

NigellasDealer Wed 09-Apr-14 12:43:50

but his mum pretends that it is all ok and normal because he did well academically.....

NigellasDealer Wed 09-Apr-14 12:38:47

one of my brothers has been a heavy weed user through GCSEs A levels, BA and Msc - passed them all OK.
now he lives in his parents basement unable to take a bus or have driving lessons with no social life.

Travelledtheworld Wed 09-Apr-14 12:34:07

For the summer.....Sign him up to volunteer with an organisation like this.
jst.org.uk/our-tall-ships/life-on-board/

It will keep him busy, physically active and make him realise how lucky he is.......

yegodsandlittlefishes Wed 09-Apr-14 08:43:16

OP, spend the whole summer on one of the Scottish islands, somewhwre with no broadband/wifi. Take A level revision books. Don't give him advanced warning. Once there, search all his bags and clothes and destroy any drugs you find.

Polonius a lot of schools pile huge pressure on GCSE students. There are kids all over the country doing extra GCSES to get the school's Average Point Score up.

Polonius Wed 09-Apr-14 01:33:26

Victorian... Ritalin makes no sense (to me anyway) at GCSE level. They are not that high pressured. If this was a finalist uni student, I'd probably agree (think the user was stupid), but at least see their point.

TheVictorian Wed 09-Apr-14 01:22:57

I can see why some students use Ritalin to help them focus with there study's but using ( weed, plus mdma / ketamine / speed / 2cb ) that's just dangerous.

Polonius Wed 09-Apr-14 00:44:46

Clever and drugs isn't special. There are thousands of students at top unis fucking up their grades with drugs. There is always a fall.

This is tricky. I do think he's too young, but I also think it's possible to use drugs (not the hard stuff) and be successful. Flow4 your long post is brilliant. Skunk is much stronger than the stuff we were smoking 20 years ago.

I don't want to be seen as pro-drugs, and I will be very careful what I tell my children, but DH and I smoked cannabis daily (evenings, mostly) for about 7 years. During this time we both got 2:1s at university, started professional careers, got promoted, bought our first flat followed by our first house, got a cat and managed to keep it alive, and got married. We were normal successful people living in the suburbs. We stopped smoking altogether when TTC DC1, and have not started again.

It's so hard looking at it with the eyes of a parent, though.

EllaJameson Tue 08-Apr-14 17:28:31

Often teens are just too young to be able to do anything in moderation. Some adults can use drugs only recreationally and leave them at home most of the time, but for teens it's harder - it really is a slippery slope.

If anyone is concerned that their child or someone they know may be taking drugs, check out this quiz which highlights the first warning signs www.sobercollege.com/telltale-signs-of-drug-use/

FiftyShadesofGreyMatter Mon 28-Oct-13 20:58:47

It seems that some people are pre-disposed to mental illness and taking drugs can bring this on/exacerbate it.

I have seen this in the dd of a friend, high achieving at school until the drugs wrecked her life, now has a mental illness which means she is unlikely to live a full life.

MilllyMollyMully Mon 28-Oct-13 17:05:48
magnumicelolly Mon 28-Oct-13 15:58:05

Yes. Ended up with straight As through GCSE, A level and a first degree followed by postgrad. Surprisingly doesn't appear to have caused a problem!

Claybury Mon 28-Oct-13 15:53:44

Thanks flow4.

Branleuse Mon 28-Oct-13 15:48:02

he is way too young for all that. I missed his age.

flow4 Mon 28-Oct-13 15:47:49

Yes. The powerlessness is frustrating and frightening, isn't it?
Although there is probably nothing you can do, you can continue to have influence. You can keep giving him 'moral messages', keep telling him what you don't like, and gather information to make yourself as knowledgable as possible, and make sure he's well informed too.

It's frightening (and stupid) because it's a gamble, but it isn't by any means hopeless: the chances are your DS will be fine...

My DS is now 18, doing well at college, applying to uni, volunteering and working part-time. He's learned.

MilllyMollyMully Mon 28-Oct-13 15:43:38

Also, OP, the state boarding schools I mention specialise in engaging dc in extra curriculars. Obv they've got them as a captive audience.

I wouldn't stand by and let things get worse if it were me. It's true you often need to make a fuss as a parent to get state provision to move, but move they do, if you persist.

MilllyMollyMully Mon 28-Oct-13 15:39:47

www.priorygroup.com/child-adolescent-services_d1

Masses on offer there for teens.

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