Please will somebody read a very long post about my 17 year old dd and advise me please? Possible depression?

(8 Posts)
curlew Sat 26-Oct-13 10:35:50

About 3 weeks ago, my normally very cheerful and level headed dd was a bit low and tired. She has a lot going on with school, and at the time had a friendship issue that was worrying her- now resolved. At the end of the week, she gave blood- and felt really dreadful afterwards, faint and sick. She still felt awful the next day. Don't know whether it was the blood donation or some sort of bug, but she was poorly for a couple of days, then seemed to go into a sort of downward spiral. She described how she felt to me after about a week, and it sounded to me like depression- she said she felt detached, and as if she had a black cloud following her that she was worried other people would be infected by, so she wanted to keep away from people.

She carried on going to school, although it was a struggle, and I just tried to take as much pressure off her as possible, making home safe and unchallenging, and trying to be available if she wanted me. Then, on Thursday morning, she woke up her old self again, and has stayed that way.

There is depression in our family, and I was worried that this was the first signs of it in her. If it was, what should she/we do? Or should she/we just put it down to being tired and unwell? Or what?

quoteunquote Sat 26-Oct-13 10:45:16

Make an appointment with the GP, go with her and explain worries, she could just have a deficiency vitamin, iron, zinc, anything could be going on, the blood donation may have exasperated something.

I would ask for tests, to eliminate all the simple things first.

CarpeVinum Sat 26-Oct-13 10:49:00

I had profound deression at that age, it all fits (I descirbed it as being down the bottom of a deep, dark well with walls so steep and slippery I couldn't climb out) ... excpet for the "back to her old self" bit after a few days.

It could be a one off strong mood dip, due to being off colour, stressed and peaky due to blood donation.

Perhaps a watch and wait would be the most useful tool. If it seems to come and go again then it might be worth a visit to the GP.

If a strong mood dip doesn't follow, but she sinks into a low grade funk that seems more "sticky" I'd still follow up with her doc. Teens can be "funk prone" but I think there are cases were early intervention can maybe head things off at the pass.

I had a ten year profound depression from 16-26, DH had bad anxiety with the same sort of time frame, MIL had a very severe presentation of bipolar I and OCD... I look at my son sometimes and just hope with all I've got that he stays untouched by all and any mental health issues... DS (13) recently started saying thank you twice everytime I give him lunch/dinner...<commence worry> Standing there trying to work out if it's something or nothing with the pit of your belly starting to knot is horrible. So I feel for you looking at your girl and the worrying involved.

<big fat hug>

flow4 Sat 26-Oct-13 11:29:27

Viruses very often leave people feeling low energy and down, even after all the physical symptoms have passed.

Encourage her to be kind to herself. Encourage her to pay attention to her feelings and work out what things - even small things - make her feel good or at least better. smile So many people can't do this, or d For decades, I thought I had to be happy all the time, and spiraled into depression often, because I had no strategies at all other than "pull your socks up" and "count your blessings". Once I learned some other ways of dealing with stress and unhappiness (which for me include being creative, spending time with friends, exercising and withdrawing into a 'nest' from time to time) I managed my moods much better and I haven't been depressed for

flow4 Sat 26-Oct-13 11:31:04

Viruses very often leave people feeling low energy and down, even after all the physical symptoms have passed.

Encourage her to be kind to herself. Encourage her to pay attention to her feelings and work out what things - even small things - make her feel good or at least better. So many people can't do this, or don't remember to.

For decades, I thought I had to be happy all the time, and spiraled into depression often, because I had no strategies at all other than "pull your socks up" and "count your blessings". Once I learned some other ways of dealing with stress and unhappiness (which for me include being creative, spending time with friends, exercising and withdrawing into a 'nest' from time to time) I managed my moods much better and I haven't been depressed for many years. smile

cory Sat 26-Oct-13 14:13:53

Seeing that this has come on suddenly I would take her to the GP first to eliminate any physical cause. Sometimes physical disorders can mimic MH issues, but you need to know which is which for the treatment.

Still embarrassed about the time I spent trying to get a psychiatrist to see my delusional daughter only to realise afterwards (= after a simple urine test) that she was being poisoned by a kidney infection.

I think at 17 they sometimes get really floored by an infection. They also don't give themselves time to recover properly. It's hard to go to a GP when you are well and expect a retrospective diagnosis. I would talk to her to make sure she comes to you if she feels she is sliding downwards again.

cory not as daft as it sounds. DS was very ill in August with an infection which we think was UTI. Several weeks later he got into a huge anxiety state over what turned out to be a related bladder problem. He was fine when he realised there was a physical cause for his symptoms but I am keeping an eye on him as he has become more prone to anxiety as he has got older.

modafinilguy Sun 27-Oct-13 15:42:12

I personally have decided I will never give please, except if a close friend/ family member needed it.

A while back, an older friend of mine (young,fit and healthy) went and gave blood.

I was at his house the time this happened...

As he got home he noticed he wasn't feeling well and was dizzy. He had obey all recommendations they told him..

Went to go to the toilet then faints on the spot, cracked his head HARD on the toilet. Required several stitches on his head. He had horrific concussion for several days.

With your daughter, the most concerning thing is the black cloud comment, but one wonder's if she is being a bit dramatic, deliberately, cause that's a sort of stereotypical depression idea.

I have been told if you have an infection and give blood the infection can come out stronger or develop, because your immune system and fighting ability is down.

She might be depressed though. Please consult an expert.

Depression lasts at LEAST 2 weeks (should be a fair bit longer usually).

Some symptoms include, excessive sleeping or inability to sleep (especially waking early, can't get back to sleep).

Strong loss of appetite (in some cases opposite)

Negative mood for at least 2 weeks, the majority of the time.

May cry easy or feel like crying but not be able to.

Often (not always) energy level is very low, may be slowed down.

Loss of interest in things they usually enjoy, don't enjoy things.

In strong cases, a person may seem detached, avoid talking to others, not make eye contact, never show any genuine positive emotions, smile etc.

Danger signs of suicide include:

Comments of the nature "people would be better off without me"

Sometimes morbid "sarcastic" jokes about if they were dead.

Self Harm, cutting, any form of self harm.

Strong comments indicating low self worth in conjunction with any of above.

Disinterest in things such as possessions, future events etc.

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