13 year old and ear stretchers....help!

(55 Posts)
Fragglewump Sat 12-Oct-13 12:11:23

Dss is 13 and getting ear stretchers. This is being allowed by his mum. Dh and I are sad and concerned that this will damage not only his ears but future prospects. Are we old farts who need to get a grip? Or is there anything we can and should do? Help!

finallydelurking Sat 12-Oct-13 12:22:25

Where is he getting this done? Any reputable piercer wouldn't touch an under 14 (agreed code of conduct).

Can you take him for a consultation at a reputable piercer who will talk through pros and cons with him?

Is it something that's covered by his schools uniform policy? If he has to keep taking it in and out,he's risking infection (again a reputable piercer would be able to discuss this wit him)

englishteacher78 Sat 12-Oct-13 12:37:09

My school wouldn't allow it.

Fragglewump Sat 12-Oct-13 12:37:29

He's already had it pierced while he was with his mum. Now he's adding stretchers. hmm

englishteacher78 Sat 12-Oct-13 12:42:19

What is his school's policy on piercings.

finallydelurking Sat 12-Oct-13 12:44:21

Ah ok, lobe piercing can be done anywhere at any age. Generally the advice from a piercer/tattooist would be not to start stretchers under 14. I think your only course of action would be to take him to a piercer to talk through pros and cons of starting them at his age, proper care and if it's reversible if/when he changes his mind.

I believe they hurt and all but the most determined remove them pretty quickly. Good luck.

Ooh I would hate this. I can't look at those ear stretchers-they look horrible. sad
Can you talk him out of it? 13 is very young.

AnythingNotEverything Sat 12-Oct-13 12:57:05

This is really difficult if his mum has said yes, but in my mind, ear stretching falls under the "if you still want it in two years then we'll discuss it again".

My 13 yo has no concept of long term consequences. I'd be getting his dad to have a long chat with his mum.

BurberryQ Sat 12-Oct-13 12:59:19

ear stretchers at 13 are just not on, if the dad has PR can he not put his foot down?

BadSeedsAddict Sat 12-Oct-13 13:05:45

They can be gradually reduced down again; and in my experience (have a 10mm one) I have to practically tell people what mine is as it just looks like an earring. At thirteen he's not going to affect his long term prospects and you might be best off picking your battles and leaving it. He's not going to choose piercings over a good job (unless you make a fuss and encourage a rebellious attitude by doing so!). I really would just leave it, if he wants it but isn't allowed it he'll probably get it later anyway.

ChanelTunel Sat 12-Oct-13 13:11:13
BadSeedsAddict Sat 12-Oct-13 13:13:50

Chanel that's so funny! grin

If it's under 10mm and in for around 5 years or less, then it will shrink down again when removed until almost unrecognisable after a few weeks. Bet his style will change again before he's 18 so it should be all fine!

If he does get them, make sure he cleans them, they can smell utterly vile...

FloozeyLoozey Sat 12-Oct-13 13:23:23

If he only goes up to 10mm, he should be okay- they'll shrink down again. Mine have been up to 18mm and have shrank back down to 8mm (which sounds a lot but it actually quite un-noticeable without jewellery). Anything under 5mm looks tiny without jewellery, and won't generally be noticed.

glastocat Sat 12-Oct-13 13:30:14

God poor you, they are totally hideous IMO. Doesn't the dad get a say in this at all? My kid is 12 and there is no way in hell I would allow this next year or until at least 47.

NatashaBee Sat 12-Oct-13 13:46:00

They look awful but it's surprising how well they shrink back down. I imagine it would be a bit dangerous for PE though.

Fragglewump Sat 12-Oct-13 15:31:49

The trouble is I don't think his dad does have a say. He's mostly with his mum and so if dh days anything he's a party pooper. Sad.

Stricnine Sat 12-Oct-13 20:32:25

Having been through this with DD 0, now 17, she started stretching hers several years ago... but it is a long slow process and a LOTharder (and sorer) than theynthink it's going to be! I went down the 'ok if you must' route as to make it forbidden also made it more appealing!

Just encourage him to do in is slow steps, keep them clean (bathe in salt water if they get alll swollen/infected) and warn him it will take time... a lot of the reality takes the glamour out of it!

But as someone else has said above.. as long as it's done slowly and cleanly, up to 10mm will shrink back in due course.

DS1 stretched his to 10mm. I hated it but know the more I moaned the further he would go.
At 16 he got a job at Dominos and had to take tem hout for work. Then he forgot to put it back a few times and it shrank!

Then he gave up and to my delight the holes have COMPLETELY vanished.. no sign of them at all. He;s 20 now and you'd never knowsmile

I honestly think the less notice you take, the sooner the phase will pass!!

On the other hand DD1 has a stretcher in one ear..about 6mm and looks like a pencil. She is a medical student ...nearly a qualified doctor and lots of the patients are fascinated by her ear pencil grin It didn't stop her getting into a top uni to read medicine....smile

Fragglewump Sun 13-Oct-13 12:27:35

Oh no...I think we are old farts....cripes. Thanks for all your replies. Will try to play it cool and ignore in the hope that the novelty wears off!

fubar74 Sun 13-Oct-13 12:58:32

My daughter started stretching hers last year but she is 19 yo and I still wasn't all that happy about it, I would never have allowed that at 13, apart from the fact that she would not be fully matured its also school policies and generally what it looks like, luckily she hasn't gone to the extreme and it actually looks quite nice on her (she hasn't gone over 10mm which means they shrink back to normal if she wished to take them out)

I would definately get dad to talk to mum about it

Branleuse Sun 13-Oct-13 13:02:05

pick your battles. It isnt permanent, and theyre his ears

Branleuse Sun 13-Oct-13 13:04:14

They do shrink back quickly. I had 10mm last year. I havent worn any for a while. Can barely get 4mm in now.

I doubt theyll go back to nothing, but they dont look much when i dont have any jewellery in, and theyd probably shrink even more in the young

Another adding to the sensible voices. Done slowly, carefully and not over 10mm they will shrink down.

I am 34 and have 6mm tunnels in right now. When I take them out to shower, I have to put them back in straight after or I lose 2mm in just over an hour.

Stretching too fast and too large will result in blowouts which will not shrink back down and may require surgery to repair.

DownstairsMixUp Sun 13-Oct-13 13:09:21

The thing is it's all well people saying their experience of stretching, but not everyone's DO go back to normal, it all depends on how quick you stretch and generally some people are just very unlucky and can stretch to less than 10mm but still never get their lobes back to normal so I would really not allow it, or do your best to have a chat about it. If he REALLY wants it then can't you all compromise and say, well if your still convinced it's what you want at 16 then yes? Mine are 12mm and people are right, with plugs in (particuarly the ones i have with charms attached) they just look like earrings. Mine tend to shrink quick if i leave them out a while but then a friend of mine only stretched to 10mm, took them out for a year and they have never gone back to normal. sad

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