Why is everything "gay"

(35 Posts)
Orchidlady Tue 08-Oct-13 14:14:56

This is a bit light hearted. But why is DS response to most things these day, "oh that is gay", "don't be so gay" even told yesterday I was gay. He does not say it in a nasty just seem teen speak

fieldfare Tue 15-Oct-13 11:41:41

It's horrible and not really light hearted at all.
My dd returned from her Father's house copying this from the older children there. She's 10 and I have clearly explained why I find it unacceptable. Our next door neighbours are gay, my cousin is gay, I asked her to imagine how they would feel if they heard her describing things negatively in that way. They would assume that she also felt negatively about gay people too.

PeterParkerSays Tue 15-Oct-13 11:44:17

On a more serious note, he'll get himself into trouble with this once he starts work (one of my younger staff members did as colleagues took offence). Just tell him you look forward to him growing out of this childish phase because it's not language that adults use.

Preciousbane Tue 15-Oct-13 12:03:32

DS said fruit in lunch boxes is deemed gay at school and people take the P. We have had a chat about not using the term like this and how 3 of mine and DH mates who DS have met are gay so would not like it. It was the only time he has said it and not heard since.

A boy in his year, year 8 has come out as gay and it seems to not have caused much of a kerfuffle at all.

The boy that has two Mums gets a bit of stick but it is because he is not allowed to play rugby and nothing to do with his two Mums.

We live in quite a deprived ex mill town, its quite rough and pretty grim in parts really but people are more tolerant here than when I lived in a very nice village down South in an affluent area. I know it was years ago but my dsis still lives there and it is still the same.

chocoluvva Tue 15-Oct-13 12:24:23

Not a class element then perhaps?

KatyPutTheCuttleOn Tue 15-Oct-13 13:41:09

My DC use it as well, some things are deemed to be gay. I don't much like it and they know it.

flow4 Tue 15-Oct-13 20:19:51

I d

flow4 Tue 15-Oct-13 20:25:03

I don't think it's class, choco: it's a socially mixed school; the word is used universally to mean 'pathetic' or 'crap', and there are no 'out' gay boys of any class. sad

Curiously, there is nothing like the same stigma attached to lesbians and bisexual young people, especially girls. There are quite a few 'out' lesbian and bisexual girls and one bisexual boy. confused

chocoluvva Tue 15-Oct-13 21:15:34

Goodness. I only know of one lesbian girl in the two secondary schools my DC go to, and one bisexual boy.

It seems such a step backwards to use 'gay' as a term of abuse after the civil partnership legislation and generally more liberal attitudes. Back in my schooldays nobody dared come out as gay.

QueenoftheSarf Tue 15-Oct-13 23:37:26

Unfortunately it's a fact that being gay means being in a minority and all minorities have, historically, been marginalised and persecuted to a greater or lesser extent and still continue to be today - either overtly or covertly. It's a social phenomenon that crosses all cultures and creeds. Being too fat, being too thin, considered to be too ugly, having wonky teeth, being disabled in some way, being of a minority race within a dominant racial group or even having ginger hair. All these things mark people out as being different, simply because they are in the minority.

Education and social conditioning is the only thing that will stamp out picking on minority groups but, unfortunately, years worth of telling people that it is wrong, trying to educate, re-educate and inform them and even passing legislation to make it a criminal offence to perpetrate discrimination/abuse and causing offence to some minority groups seems not to have made that much difference.

I'm not saying that people should stop trying, just that it seems to be a constant battle for many minority groups. It's quite right that they should not have to put up with it, or be prepared to put up with it.

For what it's worth, I think that over the last 30 years or so, huge leaps have been made in homosexuality being accepted and "normalised" in a society where it was hitherto seen as unacceptable and abnormal. Many gay people are now totally mainstream in the entertainment world and in the media. Most people know people in their work or social circles who are "out" and it's no big deal at all. As I said in my previous post, people will always counter that argument with anecdotes about people they know who have suffered homophobic abuse but I truly believe that most teenagers nowadays do not have the same view of homosexuality that they might have done 30 or even 20 years ago.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say that as minority groups go, gay people have made far greater strides in gaining societal acceptance than many other minority groups have over recent years.

cory Wed 16-Oct-13 17:57:15

"Not in my house or car it isn't. It's up to you to explain why this is wrong and stop it when you hear it."

This.

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