DS 14, ASD, has crush on teacher

[KnockMeDown]

Hi there please could you give us some advice on how to handle this?

Our DS, age 14, has a crush on his photography teacher. She is a slip of a thing, a very young looking twenty something. DS is very socially awkward and shy, and goes to an all boys school specialising in mild asd etc, so has not had any real access to girls of his own age.

We have learnt through a slightly older friend of DS of the situation. He is quite smitten, and has even google mapped her address.

Just wanted some advice on how to handle this. We are planning to speak to his SLT at school - she is a lovely older lady, think almost grandma figure, and has become something of a confidant to him. But how should we approach at home? Will this naturally blow over? They work quite closely together on the photography, as they have very small class sizes.

Any advice gratefully received.

[KnockMeDown]

Bumping for morning crowd

[adeucalione]

I have no experience of ASD but as a secondary school teacher I can tell you that this is very common, and teachers are adept at dealing with it.

I would be very surprised if the teacher hadn't already noticed (and it may not be the first time it's happened to her).

With regards to your DS I would say ignore and it will pass, surely most of us had crushes on teachers at some point, and it blows over as you realise that it is futile, and move on to someone else.

It's a difficult age I think, and discussing it will lead to enormous embarrassment, so I would be tempted to leave it alone unless you believe he is acting inappropriately.

[secretscwirrels]

I agree with speaking to his (SLT?) tutor or mentor. I think that perhaps the teacher in question might want to be aware of it and the SLT is best placed to advise her. She may want to ensure that he does not misunderstand anything she says or does.
I would also wait and see what SLT says, she will know more about boys with ASD and crushes and you could be guided by her.

[KnockMeDown]

Thank-you - so far as we intend to proceed, so encouraged

[eatyourveg]

Have you thought about doing a friendship pyramid? This book describes the basics