I've been posting on here for a few weeks now. I have 2 DS aged 13 and 10 and 2 DSD aged 13 and 15. The girls live with their mum and the boys live with me and my DP. The girls are refusing to come and stay since a real shitty summer holiday (long story).
Lots of good advice and sympathy on here.
Check out the step-parent board too as that is a great support also.
A month ago, I would have scoffed at the suggestion that I'd have a teen problem; now it's all kicked off.
Firstly, there's my DSD, who has had a turbulent time over the last few years with her toxic, controlling mum. She's just turned 16, has gone to residential college against her mums wishes (with her Dads support) and is currently trying to win her Mums approval every weekend when she comes home. Last weekend she was picked up for shoplifting, and since then she's begged me to help her, be a part of her life, not reject her etc etc. She's confiding in me more than my DP and her Mum doesn't know anything about it, so right now, I'm feeling responsible for her.
Then, there's my DD. She's just gone into year 8, and up until now has been a delight - textbook baby, a less-than-horrible toddler, bright, clever, popular as a little girl and even her transition to secondary was successful. In the last few weeks she has developed some disgusting questionable hygiene habits; not washing, wearing dirty clothes and most concerningly, leaving soiled sanitary pads, and period-stained clothing lying around her room and in the family laundry basket. And she got a detention for lack of homework yesterday .
This week, I've downloaded and read Divas and Doorslammers, as well as reread How to Talk so Kids will listen, and I've scoured this board as well. I think I'll be here for a while!