<Sob> Temporarily overwhelmed by DS1 and 2

(184 Posts)
BoffinMum Mon 05-Aug-13 12:44:49

I am trying to work from home during August as I haven't got a lot of childcare, but DS (12) and DS (15) are driving me nuts. Despite my best efforts they are doing everything on an imaginary ticklist of annoying-but-not-illegal-or-immoral things, specifically designed to annoy a parent. Their minor but exasperating crimes include:

Smearing jam all over clean sheets from eating in bed
Peeing all over the place in the bathroom and making it stink
Toilet skid marks, no use of brush
No assistance in house whatsoever despite many disciplinary strategies
Lying in bed until lunch and then loafing about in pyjamas all day
Arguing and scrapping with each other
Bedrooms like fetid hellholes that time forgot (gave in and cleaned one today as I couldn't bear it any longer)
Banging on about the next thing they want me to buy for them
Refusing to their holiday homework from school
Refusing to do anything except muck about on their computers

I have tried everything I can think of to reign them in but I am wondering if there are things other people can think of. I am getting no work done and they have me in tears at the moment.

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 19:49:21

What is the food of choice Blue? We never seem to have the correct food for him. He's eaten a box of Tunnock's Teacakes today.

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 05-Aug-13 19:49:30

Your son is obviously going for a similar look sparkling - commiserations (although glad to say I don't yet have to deal with the pants in the trousers thing!)

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 05-Aug-13 19:51:56

Crisps, biscuits, cakes, pork pies.

Nothing that has grown or could be good for him.

He is currently going through an energy drinks phase, despite me pointing out that they shouldn't be drunk by under 16s and they will knacker his bones. Today he did say he had stomach ache was going to "try to cut down" hmm

Hassled Mon 05-Aug-13 19:54:07

I do that "should I check they haven't been kidnapped or died?" thing when it gets close to 12 and there's no sign of movement. DS3, who's 11 and has been up with the lark since birth, today woke at 8.45 and I had almost fully convinced myself he'd inhaled too much airfix glue overnight.

Then they sit around watching the Big Bang Theory or killing XBox baddies for hours, while I do stuff, and eventually ask "what are we doing today?" and I give them a long ranty list of the stuff I have already done today.

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 19:55:17

Sounds similar Blue. Absolutely nothing that has been grown as you say, cooking far too much trouble. Has to be in a box/bag and easily transported up the stairs.

I am in trouble as there is no Pepsi-only Lemonade. So he has drunk all the Tropicana. hmm

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 05-Aug-13 20:01:11

I did him scrambled egg, he did the toast this morning - he then coated it in an inch of ketchup and said "do I have to eat this downstairs" hmm "YES YOU BLOODY DO"

The first time he made scrambled egg it exploded in the microwave and H told him he was not to do it again - DS now reminds me of that every time. I did say "for gods sake how does he think you are ever going to learn to do it yourself then?"

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 20:03:59

grin Blue. I did do him a bacon sandwich yesterday as i was worried that frying pan/undone dressing gown could lead to injury.

wigglybeezer Mon 05-Aug-13 20:14:20

I bought DS 1 a new dressing gown to replace the 11-12 one, he chewed holes in it while watching telly until it looked like something worn by the undead, I chucked it out. He now attempts to walk about the house with his duvet wrapped round him, knocking things off tables and shelves ( we are not allowed to see him in his boxers, lest we notice the changes in scale!).

BoffinMum Mon 05-Aug-13 20:19:00

gringrin At all of these. Feel a distinct sense of solidarity, I do.

It could be worse. DS1 said with a straight face that some of his friends are so into self-abuse at the moment that he reckons their willies must look like Pepperami. gringrin

MrsFrederickWentworth Mon 05-Aug-13 20:26:46

I now fine mine for leaving dirty underwrite on his floor. But forgot to add " it has to go to the dirty clothes basket. " I open a drawer and....

Rule has changed..

Have not managed to toilet train adequately either.

And foetid towel syndrome is recurrent. Likewise cereal bowl on sofa.

Hassled Mon 05-Aug-13 20:29:53

grin at pepperami.

I honestly think that left to his own devices DS2 could spend 6 weeks either in his lair or lying on the sofa, making the occasionally appearance in the kitchen to harangue me about something the Tories have done, like I'm personally responsible.

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 05-Aug-13 20:34:54

MrsFredrick - dirty underwrite lol are you on a mobile by any chance grin

I removed a bag of empty cans and drink cartons, the aforementioned mountain of bedding and discarded clothing plus loads of dirty cups and plates hmm

BeadyBagsaTella Mon 05-Aug-13 21:25:02

Sparklingbrook, that's one of the rules in my kitchen - no frying whilst wearing a dressing gown - no standards slipping here this summer!

orangeandemons Mon 05-Aug-13 21:25:20

Ds used to collect vim to cans. He was very proud of his entire wall of vimto cans

I was distinctly unimpressed. It took 9 bin liners, and as his room was an atic room several flights of stairs to get them out, and they all bloody leaked down the stairs.

He never forgave me, but I feel my suffering was much worse.

redcaryellowcar Mon 05-Aug-13 21:36:03

I have a two year old ds and read this smiling as have all this to come, will prepare myself for bedroom mucking out and inadequately dressed teenager, ds is tall so perhaps I will just buy him adult dressing gown to begin with hopefully eliminating the potential damage he might do himself whilst frying up a bacon sandwich!

BoffinMum Mon 05-Aug-13 21:39:06

Red car, if you want grandchildren it's the only way to go wink

BoffinMum Tue 06-Aug-13 08:31:25

I think I have a new strategy.
If they don't do as I say, threaten to buy them really naff white and cheap y fronts instead of boxers.
That should hit them where it hurts.

Nospringchickendipper Tue 06-Aug-13 09:07:27

Ds always has his hands down his underwear I won't let him touch anything in the kitchen till he's wash his hands

Dread to think what he does when I'm not there.

Good for my diet as he eats a lot of cakes and biscuits.

Theas18 Tue 06-Aug-13 09:16:15

We have shovelled out DS pit while he's been away and painted it ... faint!

We have also been to IKEA and bought actual wardrobe as DH labours under the false understanding that the clothes on floor/dirty clothes on floor ( all in a large heap and stinking) including DH best socks (snork!) are because the chest of drawers/hanging stuff from the high bed plan doesn't provide enough storage space.

I give it a week before everything is on the floor again.... and dirty.... and includes DH socks...

He's a great lad but the pit he lives in!

Itscoldouthere Tue 06-Aug-13 09:32:54

Good to read all your posts.

DS1 (15) away at the moment, but DS2 (13) seems to spend his time drifting around attached to some type of electrical device in manky pjs,
hes so tall and skinny, he's like a piece of string wafting about.

I have to force him outside and struggle to get him to do anything I think is worthwhile like sport!

Can't wait to go on holiday so I know he will actually put clothes on and see daylight.

Love the "no frying in dressing gown rule"

Sparklingbrook Tue 06-Aug-13 09:40:15

YY at 'piece of string' Itscold. grin One MNetter referred to her teen's floor as a 'floordrobe'. I have adopted that word.

littlemisswise Tue 06-Aug-13 10:03:13

The best thing that has happened in our house is DS1 got more hours at work and DS2 got a job so they are never in!grin

When they are here though, they are in boxers or dressing gowns! I remember my brother being the same 25 years ago.

They constantly eat. I woke up at 1am the other day wondering what I could smell, they were cooking fish fingers to make fish finger sandwiches!hmm.

I can't stand messy rooms so I clean them and put their clothes away. I shouldn't do it, I know, but it winds me up and I can't leave it.

Sparklingbrook Tue 06-Aug-13 10:04:19

DS1 has a paper round every Wednesday. Tomorrow he will be sat in the flapping dressing gown inserting leaflets into the paper. hmm

ZingWidge Tue 06-Aug-13 10:15:48

I won't even start on what my 5 sons (and a baby girl) are doing to the house, each other and my nerves.

eldest has just turned 12 but already acts as a teenager.....I have no idea what it will be like in 5 years when the oldest 4 are 17, 15, 13, 11.
I might need a testosterone anti-dose just to enter the house....grin

survivingthechildren Tue 06-Aug-13 10:45:42

Ah ha Boffin! I see your 2 DS and raise you my 4!!

Seriously, hold the wifi password hostage. Results guaranteed, or your money back!

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