<Sob> Temporarily overwhelmed by DS1 and 2

[BoffinMum]

I am trying to work from home during August as I haven't got a lot of childcare, but DS (12) and DS (15) are driving me nuts. Despite my best efforts they are doing everything on an imaginary ticklist of annoying-but-not-illegal-or-immoral things, specifically designed to annoy a parent. Their minor but exasperating crimes include:

Smearing jam all over clean sheets from eating in bed
Peeing all over the place in the bathroom and making it stink
Toilet skid marks, no use of brush
No assistance in house whatsoever despite many disciplinary strategies
Lying in bed until lunch and then loafing about in pyjamas all day
Arguing and scrapping with each other
Bedrooms like fetid hellholes that time forgot (gave in and cleaned one today as I couldn't bear it any longer)
Banging on about the next thing they want me to buy for them
Refusing to their holiday homework from school
Refusing to do anything except muck about on their computers

I have tried everything I can think of to reign them in but I am wondering if there are things other people can think of. I am getting no work done and they have me in tears at the moment.

[HelenMumsnet]

Same here, if any consolation at all

[BoffinMum]

Bit of a development.
Eldest DS has come into study, apologised unreservedly for being a teenager, has told his brother off, offered to take him down the park, offered assistance in the house and promised to do better.
Shall I send him round to yours?

[orangeandemons]

Leave the bed sheets, leave their rooms, leave the homework, leave them in bed, leave them on the computers. This is what all our 3 ds's did when teens. It's all normal IMO.

However toilet issues are not normal, and they can clear them up

[BlueSkySunnyDay]

I wanted to divorce my eldest on holiday last week, I have threatened its the last time he comes with us and there were moments when I bordered upon hating him last week.

Teenagers are so damn selfish.

Shut the doors to their bedrooms but i'm afraid you will have to stick to your guns on the communal parts of the house so that fight is worth having.

[Sparklingbrook]

Oh my word. I cannot express how grateful I am that it's not just me. I am not working either.

We are supposed to be going away the last week of the month but TBF I don't know if I want to go away with them.

[DumSpiroSpero]

Change the WiFi password whenever it gets too much and refuse to supply it until they've cleaned the bathroom/tidied rooms/done homework etc.

Disclaimer - this idea comes from Facebook, my DD hasn't quite hit this stage yet.

[Gruntfuttocks]

So glad to read your update, OP. Treasure that moment and remember it next time he's being an arse. "It's just a phase" - a useful mantra for you when it all gets too much. He's still a decent person and will come good in the end!

[Travelledtheworld]

Mine, 13 and 15 are both sleeping in fetid hell holes of wet towels, filthy sheets, dirty crockery and sweaty clothes right now.
While they are asleep I will remove wireless router and tell them it is family clean up day and no computers until house is clean again...they will whine but they will do it.

Actually I am in the USA so it is 8.30 am here but they will sleep until noon if left undisturbed.

[BlueSkySunnyDay]

I had to wake mine at 11 as I became concerned that maybe they had been kidnapped or slipped into comas and that perhaps as a responsible parent I should check they were still alive.

Actually regretting it since as the feeding began almost immediately (scrambled egg on toast and "mum can I have the last bakewell?") swifly followed by "can we go somewhere nice for the day?" "will you come and play tennis with us?"

Sigh!

[BoffinMum]

Further update.

Younger DS has made a very contrite apology and is being very subdued and helpful.

Elder son removed the router himself!

Mind you, when directed to the ironing basket both of them vanished ....!

BlueSky, what is it with the feeding? Mine learn cookery at school but still come to me with open mouths like little chicks wanting endless sustenance. Only between meals, mind. At meals they gobble down half a plateful and leave the rest in order to battle about whether they are allowed to leave the table or not.

[Nospringchickendipper]

Ds is fast asleep on the sofa he only got up a few hours ago and in that short time I've taken his ps3 off him,had a shouting match with him about how he treats me and made him go and clean his bedroom.

On the plus side he has said he's sorry given me a hug and showed me some funny clip he was watching on you tube.

[Sparklingbrook]

at all these apologetic teens. DS1 is now playing PS3 online with a mate and shouting so loud down the mic that his mate 2 miles away can probably hear anyway.

I have told DS2 I want his room decluttered, but nothings happening.

[SilasGreenback]

I am making mine exercise. Sent one out for a 5k run this morning. Think I will send the other on a long bike ride soon.

I have also set up a schedule of fines if they don't do the basics - clothes in wash basket, plates in sink etc. They have the holidays to get in the swing of things, otherwise they will be very poor come September !

[Sparklingbrook]

I am surprised we haven't had our butts kicked yet by someone saying we are enabling their awful attitude and behaviour.

[JuliaScurr]

www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/articles/emotions/teenagers/sleep.shtml

teenagers don't do early nights or mornings
toddlers need naps

it is equally cruel to deprive either group of their natural sleep pattern

[Travelledtheworld]

DS 13 grew an inch this week while on holiday and having 12 hour sleeps!

[Sparklingbrook]

travelled Ds1 is a bit lanky looking lately.

He is in a bad mood because he saw the lad from Outnumbered on TV last night and he had a really deep voice. He is 5 months younger than DS1 whose voice is showing no signs of breaking at all. Oh the angst.

[Nospringchickendipper]

If they grow when they sleep Ds will be about 8ft come Sept.

[BlueSkySunnyDay]

Laughing at them being like little chicks, I have had to talk to both at dinner time tonight they were shovelling mounds of food in their mouths so fast it was like being on a building site watching the digger at work!

I made the mistake of entering a bedroom and realised that DS had no sheets on his bed, as the room didn't look too hideous I decided to attempt it. He returned as it was beginning to look halfway decent (climbing over the mound of discarded clothing and bedding I had thrown into the hall) x box goes straight back on, headphones and microphone back on and trousers taken off and thrown onto the newly cleared floor cue immature mother tantrum and again i'm leaving him to it. Why do they always have to be in their boxers?

I laugh so much when I watch The Middle, he is just like Axl sometimes even he can see it and looks at me guiltily as I howl with laughter.

ratbag

[Sparklingbrook]

Well here, DS1 takes his trousers off then leaves pants inside them. then floats round in his dressing gown usually not tied.

[BlueSkySunnyDay]

Yeah we have the untied dressing gown thing here too (its about 3 sizes too small) nice generally worn whilst foraging in the kitchen I can remember when it was last washed - id be afraid to touch it now i'd probably need a tetanus or at least hosing down with antiseptic.

I think his boxers must have to be pared off with a blunt knife - they only get changed if I query duration of wearing

[BlueSkySunnyDay]

can't remember when it was last washed

[Sparklingbrook]

DS1 is 14. I believe the dressing gown is an 11-12.

[BlueSkySunnyDay]

well he only wears it during food gathering before returning to his den....its not worth buying a new one

[Sparklingbrook]

What is the food of choice Blue? We never seem to have the correct food for him. He's eaten a box of Tunnock's Teacakes today.