Any one else's teen into this cosplay/lolita thing?

(10 Posts)
OhSoVintage Wed 31-Jul-13 23:05:21

Just wondered what you opinions where?

My daughter has always been a strange one and I except her as an individual as I was at her age.

But she has become quite immature for her age and not at all street wise which is difficult for me as when she was younger she was quite the opposite and very mature for her age. I'm ok that she immature but it just makes me a bit maybe over protective and I'm finding it harder to let go as I worry about what she will do with too much freedom, especially on the web!

It's not so much the cosplay side that worries me but this Lolita (living doll thing). I know that she views it as innocent and wants to dress up for the fun side and to express her love of the Japanese Anime that she loves which I get and I'm ok with that. I couldn't give a monkeys what she wears as long as she's happy. But I do care about weirdos online that see these girls in the wrong way.
I have let her cosplay once at a convention which I attended. But it seems I have now given her a taste of a world she wants to get more involved with and part of me wants for her to express herself and be happy with who she is but the other part of me tells me it's not safe to allow her to dress in that way and that I should protect her.

I have half agreed to buy her an alice in wonderland lolita dress for her birthday ( a bit of a half way as she's having a tea party for her birthday so it fits in).

My husband says she can wear it at conventions and when she has freinds round etc but not around town etc.

Maybe that's just me not wanting to let go but I would be interested on thoughts on this.

OhSoVintage Thu 01-Aug-13 00:02:50

This is what I mean by lolita Style http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=lolita&client=safari&rls=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=1pb5Uc_2DqqK0AXLqIDICw&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=2358&bih=1152#client=safari&rls=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=lolita+style&oq=lolita+style&gs_l=img.3...4531.6283.0.7063.6.6.0.0.0.0.419.814.0j3j4-1.4.0....0...1c.1.23.img..6.0.0.1iuqpOzES7Y&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.49967636%2Cd.d2k%2Cpv.xjs.s.en_US.jOYpRJj4zMA.O&fp=5af6f3144719ff17&biw=2358&bih=1152

And cosplay

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=cosplay&client=safari&rls=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=VJf5Uaf3KMGa0AXrs4GgBw&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=2358&bih=1152

Its a Japanese thing my daughters been a fan of japanese Anime for a few years now.

HoopersGinger Thu 01-Aug-13 00:15:05

That link doesn't work btw. I do know what it is as I saw a short film about it but, although I have a teenage daughter, I don't know anyone into it. Is she into theatre on general! Maybe she could channel her love of dress up that way? I think that whole Japanese look is very passive and maybe a way of clinging onto her childhood. It's so difficult to make them understand the dangers. My child accidentally left her Instagram open and some guy liked a pic of her with her teddy. I asked if she thought it was a bit weird and she really couldn't see what I was getting at.

ThisLittlePiggie Thu 01-Aug-13 00:19:11

Yup my dd1 16 is mad about it.
She is more into the cosplay as animals (I know there is an official term for this but can't remember it) but its still human form animals and the outfits are fairly out there.

She has a wonderful network of friends from it and its given her great confidence.

I do talk to her about how females are portrayed but she has a good head on her shoulders.

She is also immature in that her head is in the clouds and she lives in dream land most of the time but emotionally she is actually pretty secure and mature.

How old is your dd?

OhSoVintage Thu 01-Aug-13 01:04:39

HoopersGinger - She is VERY theatrical!! She has attended drama from the age of 3 and does all sorts of shows and auditions for various things. So the channeling in that direction hasn't seemed to steer her away from this smile
She's not allowed social media at the moment but we are thinking of allowing Facebook which is why I have become more concerned as I realise this could open up a world for her.

ThisLittlePiggy - My daughters 13 1/2. That is the thing I like the idea of the new network of friends.
My daughter doesn't fit in with any of the crowds at school and although she now has friends (she was bullied when she started senior school). She stands out as being different what with her Dr Who obsession and this!

I saw how happy she was at the convention, she met people her age that understood when she was gibbering on about some anime she had watched or a comic she had read and they got her! She was buzzing when she came away because she felt accepted. She has lost so much of her confidence through being bullied so I am pleased in a way she has found others that accept her for who she is and give her some confidence back.

But there is also a size of me that worries about what letting her be herself could attract! She is still quite young really..

OhSoVintage Thu 01-Aug-13 02:59:18

A apologise for not linking correctly!

Lolita Style

Cosplay

bornagaindomesticgoddess Thu 01-Aug-13 04:09:13

I wouldn't worry so much, these cosplay people are generally just harmless nerds (not meant as an insult, BTW).

FeegleFion Thu 01-Aug-13 05:55:43

My almost 15 year old DD has been into Anime and Manga for as long as I remember.

Currently, she is obsessed with watching the whole of the Sailor Moon series' (in Japanese) and talks incessantly about how she's going to find out very soon that she is in fact Sailor Moon. grin

She is also prepared for the zombie apocalypse.

It doesn't phase me in the slightest. My daughter isn't mainstream (please don't call yours strange) she's an amazing, articulate, witty, intelligent, beautiful young woman.

OhSoVintage Thu 01-Aug-13 07:59:09

Please don't get me wrong I don't mean strange in a bad way! I was strange at her age! Just different to mainstream. I wouldn't have her any other way.

I just worry about the baby doll thing and attracting the wrong type of attention. I'm fine with who she is and what she likes and the cosplay doesnt really bother me but its this lolita thing that's bothering me.

I get that she wants to be herself, I was into punk when I was younger and dressed accordingly (back in the day when it wasn't mainstream). So I do get it, but I really worry about girls being seen as suductive inthis style and especially as she is so young.

Some of the lolita styles are better than others and I'm ok with but it's just letting her into a world where sometimes "women" are trying to look like dolls and the wrong sort of attention that may attract especially online within that scene.

ThisLittlePiggie Thu 01-Aug-13 09:39:44

I know what you mean by strange. My DD wears the labels strange and nerd as a badge of pride.

The cosplay thing seems to be a growing movement. There are more and more conventions springing up and her group is ever expanding. It does tend to be the kids who may have been a bit more socially awkward, maybe because they didn't have much in common with other kids before?

I remember our first convention. All the parents standing around baffled by the whole thing. It's been about 3 years now and for the most part it's still the same parents attending....though as they get older obviously the parents just drop and run. But I don't think there are any that aren't delighted (if still a little baffled) with it all.

My DD is also very artistic. She has taken to making her own costumes....as they are very pricey to buy. But they are fantastic. She has got such confidence from all the compliments that she has set up a small cottage industry making outfits for her friends. I'm guessing this may be a path she winds up taking. She's happy and safe and confident.

I think it's really brave at that age to make a break from the mainstream crowd and have the courage to be themselves.

Having said all that...I hear you about the Lolita aspect as well. I'm not that comfortable with it. Do you think you could steer her away from that particular aspect and guide her towards some of the other types of cosplay? Or without diminishing her interest or being unsupportive of the movement, talk to her frankly about the sexulisation of young girls? It might carry more weight if you can spend time getting to know the characters and stories and terms so that you can talk to her with knowledge? She might also be appreciate you taking the extra time to understand her passion. I confess I have lost track of some of it. I can't keep up with all the characters.

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