My DS aged 17 has been stealing from us for 2 years. At first we punished him by withdrawing privileges, taking away mobile phone, computers, tv etc. As he continued the stealing the punishments got more severe. Last year just before his 16th birthday he receptively stole my bank card from my purse and stole £500. Because he was putting the card back in my purse I was convinced that my card had been cloned, even went to lengths to try get CCTV footage from shops where my card was used. I eventually realised it was him when my card was used to withdraw money one weekday morning. I thought it couldn't be him because he was at school. Something didn't sit right so I phoned the school to check his attendance that day, he was not at school that morning. He had "skived off". When I confronted him he admitted the truth but only after I told him that the police had CCTV footage of the person who was using the card at the cashpoint.
After that my trust was shattered. He moved out to stay with my parent but stole from them and caused too much stress for them so he hen moved away to live with my brother and his family, two older boys who we hoped would be a good example for him. He continued to steal and lie to my brother. After three months my brother told me he had to leave.
Social services were absolutely no help whatsoever. I tried to get support for him but he wasn't willing to cooperate with the social worker. My husband and I have had counselling to help keep our marriage together as the stress has been so bad. Guilt, blame etc.
DS also has a past of self harming. I went to my GP for help and they offered him chiselling but he wouldn't go and at 16 I can't physically make him go.
He has been home now for 5 months and the stealing has continued but until today we have had no concrete proof. We have tried giving him responsibility and offering him our trust in the hope that he has outgrown the stealing behaviour.
He doesn't have a job, he doesn't go to college, he smokes weed, he is too young to claim benefits so can't get help with housing unless we physically chuck him out. Crazy as this sounds but he is a lovely person. I don't want to kick him out as I am terrified that he will end up going further down the wrong path but I am at a loss as to what to do.
Has anyone got any advice as to who can help?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.
Teenagers
Anyone had to deal with serious repetitive teen stealing?
4 replies
hoke74 · 29/07/2013 22:11
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.