Mixed, potentially unsupervised sleepover for 14 year olds

(27 Posts)
longingforsomesleep Mon 29-Jul-13 20:56:44

DS, 14 (15 in October) has a mixed group of male/female friends. One of the girls invited him to a sleepover last week. I ended up not letting him go as it turned out the only 'adult' present was the girl's 20 year old brother. This resulted in lots of accusations about me not trusting him or his judgement about who he mixes with etc

Another sleeppover is taking place tomorrow. DS thinks the girl's mum is on honeymoon and has arranged a 'housesitter'.

He really wants to go. He's a very intelligent and sensible 14 year old and I do trust him. But I'm just not sure whether to let him in the circumstances. Any thoughts anyone?!

longingforsomesleep Wed 31-Jul-13 15:05:10

I'm very grateful for your post Flow. I am clearly the most inconsistent parent on the planet as tonight's sleepover (in our living room) is back on. We had a long conversation last night and he was really distraught about what he'd done and me finding out. I'd also found some texts on his phone from his first 'girlfriend' who had dumped him by text recently. He was clearly upset about that as she had sent him texts like, "well I didn't know you were going to be so cut up about it".

He's been a real homebird until the last few months and I think he's currently working out how to fit into the social group he's with. I realised that my concerns were more about what he could get up to when he's away from the house than under our own roof. I also felt that, if he is concerned about his place in the group and his 'popularity' then pulling the plug on his first teen sleepover at the last minute wouldn't help.

He has promised to try and get a better balance during the holidays - not spend every day hanging around the park but play more sport, do more family activities and get on with the homework he's been set etc etc.

I've also told him I will be watching him like a hawk and think my, "believe me, I WILL find out" routine which worked so well when they were little may just still have a bit of effect!

And I can't wait until they're all settled in the living room so I can walk in and do the 'no sex and drugs' speech. I will also tell them that I will pop my head round the door at various points through the night to make sure everyone is OK!!

bigTillyMint Wed 31-Jul-13 16:58:28

longing, what a kind mum you aresmile Good Luck! Keep us updated!

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