My DD (nearly 15) hates her hair (too thin), her face (too round), her nose (too wide), her chin (too pointed), her height/weight/feet...you get the picture. Of course we all see a pretty, shy, kind, thoughtful girl...but one who gets genuinely down by her self critique. This has gone on for a year or so now, I hoped she would grow out of it. We always tell her she's fine/its not like that/to concentrate on the one or two bits she doesn't mind. But she's still at it. She's generally a busy girl, goes out with friends, works on a weekend, dances and goes running. She appears happy in the real world. How else can I help her? I'm hoping its a phase...but when do I take it more seriously?
Just listen and accept her for who she is, as you are doing. She is sharing something precious with you, many girls her age don't share their insecurity with a parent. the main thing is, she can be herself around you.
What Chottie said. I felt similar as a teenager - spotty, glasses, fat (I wasn't actually fat) couldn't afford nice clothes, didn't like my hair, short... hated everything about my appearance basically. Lived miles away from any friends so I was pretty isolated. You sound like a good (thoughtful & concerned) mum. Just, try & support your DD, tell her she is lovely, attractive, there are many different ways of being attractive & not everyone has to look like a model. Support her interests & friendships so she will become more confident & hopefully rely less on her perception of her looks for her self esteem.
too much spare time for preening? Make sure she knows about photoshop and makeup meaning that ALL the sleb pictures you see are fakes. And that it is worth being grateful for a body that works and is healthy.
Wow, jiminy, I'm quite cynical about things like that, but I found the video very moving.
My DD has always been hyper-critical of herself and can't leave the house unless she feels ok with how she looks. I often wish that it wasnt possible for people to see their own faces, only other people's. What a difference that would make to so many young people, especially girls.