suspect DS has my friend's ds some LSD

(11 Posts)
MuchBrighterNow Wed 26-Jun-13 07:00:26

I suspect DS 17 has given a tab of acid my friends DS16. I read his facebook when he was out, total breech of his privacy but I had my reasons(long story). He was giving advice to only take half !

I suspected something was going on the other day when his mum brought him round to see Ds as they aren't especially good friends and he didn't stay long.

Do I tell my friend or get the two boys together and confront them ?

My Ds is going to totally lose trust in me for reading his facebook. Our relationship is already pretty strained sad

Talk to Frank. I know it sounds like a cliché but they will be able to advise you.

MuchBrighterNow Wed 26-Jun-13 09:43:34

That should read.. I suspect my Ds has sold some LSD to my friends son angry

MatersMate Wed 26-Jun-13 09:51:51

oh blimey. lsd at such an age can be extremely dangerous. you need to tackle this, yes he's going to go mad you looked at his fb, but you said you had good reason.

someone wiser will be along, to tell you how to go from here with your son, scary stuff, good luck x

flow4 Wed 26-Jun-13 21:32:14

Oh Brighter, not another bloody thing! hmm sad

How close is this friend? I would be very wary of talking about such things to a parent unless you know, like and trust her/him very well. My experience is that other parents are very ready to ignore their own DC's bad behaviour if they can find a way to blame someone else's - so they are much less likely to react with (e.g.) "My wicked son is taking drugs" than "My poor innocent son was sold drugs by your wicked one". You probably need to do something about your own son's behaviour, but you don't need him to be scapegoated for anyone else's.

I don't think you can ignore this. LSD (as you probably know) is a class A drug, so selling or giving it to someone else will always result in police action - at least a caution, and possibly even a prison sentence for 'supplying'.

You can't undo what he has already done, but you do need to be clear about what action you'll take if he does it again.

Of course one option is to call the police and/or throw him out now. I already know that you know that's not an easy option. sad

If you don't do that, you need to talk to him. Since it is going to be unpleasant to raise this with him however you broach it, I reckon that doing it straight out/directly is probably the quickest and least awful. I think I would simply say something like "I have reason to think you have been selling drugs, and you have done it in my house. That is NOT okay. If you ever, ever do that again, I will call the police and have you arrested/throw you out" (or whatever you decide your reaction would be - and remember you have to mean it and follow through sad ). Then if he denies it, you can say something like "Well,I'm glad you weren't so stupid, and now you know what would happen if you were". If he gets angry you can say "There's no point being angry. I'm just telling you what will happen if you ever do that (again)".

You don't directly need to mention FB, afaics... There are other ways you could have suspected or found out - from what you saw, or from the other boy's mother.

As for effects and risks, he'll probably be better informed that you are. hmm It is worth saying (just to reassure you) that although LSD is a powerful psycho-active drug, it is actually one of the less dangerous ones around: Frank says "There's no evidence to suggest LSD does any long-term damage to the body or directly causes long-term psychological damage".

Good luck.

MuchBrighterNow Thu 27-Jun-13 06:50:45

Thanks flow . I have done pretty much as you suggest. I want to tell my friend but probably wont for the reasons you've stated. I will have word with her ds though.

I feel like a detective and am sneaking around looking for evidence of Ds' activities... constantly vigilant.. It's horrible to be so suspicious and yet I need the facts in order to confront him in a way he can't deny.

He's so time consuming practically and emotionally. I need to protect myself before all this worry, stress and second guessing become obsessional confused

Half the time he's charming and witty and fun but then I know he's high. The rest of the time he's unbearable sad. I am trying to spend good normal time with him and not be constantly on at him,but he is SO challenging.

He admitted to me yesterday, in a round about way, that he was addicted to cannabis and that his intention was to stop smoking bongs ( at some unspecified time in the future) so there's a glimmer of hope hmm.

differentnameforthis Thu 27-Jun-13 06:55:59

I don't think it is a good idea to keep a child's drug use from their parents, tbh.

MuchBrighterNow Thu 27-Jun-13 06:59:29

I agree in principal different name for this The problem is that i don't have solid proof, just suspicions...

differentnameforthis Thu 27-Jun-13 07:01:47

Fair enough, I guess it is understandable then. I think I misread your post somewhat..

flow4 Thu 27-Jun-13 08:49:24

Yes, I understand what you mean about your DS being practically and emotionally time-consuming. My own DS has behaved pretty well for about 9 months now, but he behaved sooo badly for the previous 2-3 years that I am still 'damaged' by it, and am quickly thrown into a state of panic/anxiety/fear/anger/tears by any hint that he might be 'back to his old ways'. I know it offends him that I don't trust him, but I sadly can't yet. It is, tho, a hundred times better than this time last year, and I vividly remember that awful, heightened state of constant anxiety, and I sympathise.

Be careful about 'sneaking', Brighter. I think it's emotionally healthier to be as open as possible. You are right that you run the risk of becoming obsessive, I think, if you look secretly and suppress your emotions. But I know it doesn't feel safe to emotionally open with a volatile teen... But make sure you can be open somewhere, with someone... And preferably not just here.

SlowlorisIncognito Thu 27-Jun-13 16:59:10

Is there any way you could just mention to the boys parents that you have seen online that he is talking to your DS about taking LSD, and they should be aware of this? I know you are sort of lying to them, but at least then they know and hopefully your DS won't get into trouble with the police over it.

Does he know he can be charged with supplying, or possession with intent to supply even if he isn't taking money for the drugs?

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