Is it ok not to have school friends?

(4 Posts)
fivesacrowd Tue 25-Jun-13 19:51:19

Dd14 had a really rubbish time at school last year with a girl she thought was her friend being really horrible, including cyber bullying and her confidence has taken a real knock. Despite all that went on, she got an academic award and she's just finished a week in the theatre with her drama group where she'd a main part in a musical. She tells me she's part of a group of girls at school, but if we bump into any of them out of school, she's very reluctant to talk to them, she never arranges to go out with any of them and seems happy to be at home rather than out & about. She has been out with girls from her drama group though.
I'm just wondering if I should be concerned that she doesn't seem to have real friends at school? Dh and I consider ourselves quite sociable but tbh neither of us are still in touch with school friends.

alpinemeadow Wed 26-Jun-13 21:54:32

Do you think the reason your dd is reluctant to talk to the group when she's with you is that you're there - the old thing about being embarrassed to be with a parent? Also, Some dteens just don't particularly want to go out with schoolfriends, as several recent threads discuss! school is intense enough for some of them, and they just want a break outside school. So if your dd is happy, that is a good sign. Maybe the drama group friendships will develop now that she's done a week with them - she may have more in common with them than with the other group?

GW2 Wed 03-Jul-13 22:50:17

My DD13 is the same, doesn't make any effort to see friends and is clearly embarrassed when we bump into them outside school, prob because she is with me! She does lots of music outside school, but doesn't seem to talk to anyone. She sees her cousins most weekends and enjoys hanging out with them. I hoped she would meet like minded girls at school, but she isn't proactive about making friends and she doesn't have much in common with the girls who've tried to befriend her, plus she never looked at her phone. Now nobody ever texts her but me. I worry, but don't want to put her under too much pressure.

sensesworkingovertime Thu 04-Jul-13 11:44:27

Hi * fives* I could have asked this question myself as it is something that worries me with both DS 14yrs and DD 11yrs. In your instance, if she seems generally happy now then I wouldn't over worry about it, she sounds like she has done really well by getting into a group with a common interest and getting that part must have been a confidence booster. Perhaps she needs a bit more time to get over that horrible girl too, she is naturally going to be more wary. Please try not to let her see that you are worried about this, as you don't want it to become an issue for her if it isn't now!

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