DD cheated in GCSE exam

[Doinmummy]

I have posted before about my troubled teen. I had a call from one of her teachers saying she has cheated in her French exam. This has caused my DD to kick off at home again. She's ripped her bedroom door off. I've had the police round today to take her to school as she's refusing to go.

I think she's taking drugs as her boyfriend was seen in my garden smoking something from a bottle.

She's been screaming and shouting at me as its all my fault.

I'm broken again.

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

I have no wise words but wanted to offer a hug until someone with some wisdom can offer some support.

It isn't your fault, it is just easier for her to blame you than it is accept she might be the one at fault.

[Doinmummy]

Thankyou. I'm sitting here shaking. I feel frozen in time.

[NeverQuiteSure]

No wise words here either, but have a to go with hell's hug until someone a bit more knowledgeable about teenagers arrives...

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

Have the school said what is going to happen regarding the exam?

[Graceparkhill]

Is there a relative / close friend she could stay with to give you a break and get her away from dodgy boyfriend?

[Doinmummy]

Thankfully the teacher didn't report it to the exam board . If she had then all the exams would be classed as failed. DD is RSI sitting it on Friday .

[Doinmummy]

There is no one she can stay with, and I wouldn't be able to pry her away from the boyfriend. He is 17 but I am going to speak to his mother. Although I expect it will cause more aggression from DD if I do.

[Wolfiefan]

Can't be an external exam then or they'd have to report. How old is she? What was the bf doing in your garden?
Who can support you in RL? This sounds awful.

[Doinmummy]

She has no contact with her father

[Doinmummy]

She is 15 year 10, it was an assessment that goes towards the final GCSE

[Doinmummy]

I was out when the BF was in my garden

[PotteringAlong]

Are you sure the teacher hasn't reported it? If it's an external exam it has to be reported or they can revoke the schools ability to sit external exams.

If it was external it will be reported by someone.

[Graceparkhill]

You may think I am clutching at straws here but the fact that she cares enough to turn up for the exam has to be a good sign.
Are you able to talk to her when she is calm?

[Doinmummy]

I can't talk to her at all. She says that I play the victim.

[PotteringAlong]

Ah, cross posts. So it was a controlled assessment?

[Doinmummy]

It must have been an internal exam. She's denying cheating ( she was looking at her phone, I think she'd taken a photo of the work) but the teacher said it was word perfect and that's just not possible. Also other students said she was looking at her phone.

[Doinmummy]

Yes that's it , controlled assessment. Teacher said she's changed over the last couple of months which is how long she's been seeing this boy

[Graceparkhill]

Is there anyone she does listen to/ respect?

[MuchBrighterNow]

Oh doimummy It's not easy is it .. you have sympathy. I understand how the stress and worry can eat you up. It's so disheartening to watch your dc screw up and then get blamed by them for their mistakes.

My Ds is self destructing badly at the moment too. I feel so bereft and numb from all the emotional abuse it's like someone has died.

I know it's hard but we have to try to look after ourselves. Little acts of self kindness. Can you phone a friend for support or go out for a walk and try to just notice the things around you rather than the stuff in your head.

Try to believe that it wont always be like this.

[Doinmummy]

She doesn't / won't listen to anyone. She was shouting at the police officer this morning. She seems to have no fear.

I am actually really worried about myself and my state of mind. It is exactly like a bereavementBrighter only never ending.

I went out for a meal with my friend on Friday. I wasn't going to go as I was so upset but I did go because not going wont change anything.

[HandMini]

Just a hello and a hug. How rough. Is it any comfort to think how many of us were shitbag teenagers and have turned out alright?

[Doinmummy]

I know HandMini . I'll just have to rely on 'A Mothers Hope' that she comes through this ok.

[Doinmummy]

I'm scared of her. She is so aggressive

[threefeethighandrising]

"Smoking something from a bottle" is worrying. It could have been a bong of some type I guess (to smoke cannabis with), but crack cocaine is also typically smoked from a bottle.

I'm not saying she is, but if he or she's on crack, this is a whole other kettle of fish, and pretty worrying of course as it's so addictive.

Did you see this or is is "hearsay"? Can you describe what it looked like?

[Doinmummy]

My lodger saw it and is very reliable.it would explain the aggression ?