ds1 (16) found out his girlfriend is 13!

(78 Posts)
daisydoodoo Tue 18-Jun-13 19:48:42

Im so cross ive been barefaced lied to by my ds1 and his girlfriend.

Ds1 is 16 in just over a week and just finished school so yr11. Hes been going out with his ggirlfriend for a couple of months. There was a rumour when they first started going out that she was yr8 I confronted them both together and she swore blind she was yr10 birthday in october so just missed on being in same year as ds1 by a couple of months.

So over the last couple of months ds2 (just 11) has had numerous people ask him if he was ds1's brother and that his brother was a paedo for going out with a yr 8. Each time ds2 had said no she was yr10 and defending his brother.

Tonight ds2 came home from the park upset as another boy had been saying stuff about ds1 again in front of ds2 and his friends.

I had been having doubts because of this so asked ds1 over dinner to confirm her age he was shifty and said she was 14 but I knew this wasn't the truth anyway a bit more pushing and he admitted she was $ is 13. Tbh im still unsure of her true age if shes yr8 with October birthday how old she would be?

I told him under no circumstances was he to contact her again and that I would be speaking to her parents and letting them know that I have told ds1 that he is not to go out with her.

Weve had screaming and shouting and swearing. I don't think im being unreasonable to say that a yr11 boy is too old to be goimg out with (regardless of sexual status of the relationship he assures me theyvr only kissed)? Am I being unreasonable in this decision?

daisydoodoo Thu 20-Jun-13 17:38:27

I don't know. Ive spent today dealing with the fallout from xh. The shouting has really affected the younger three. Ds2 has been particularly foul.

Ive told ds1 that whilst I can't condone the relationship I can't ban it either. Another conversation with me spelling out exactly what could happen and how he needs to protect himself with regards to being above reproach at all times no physical contact no being alone no sexting or even ambiguous messaging.

Most of his relationship are short term anyway so hopefully once the no one can tell us we cant see each other stage passes it will just fizzle out.

If not then im stuck again.

watchingout Thu 20-Jun-13 18:02:22

No physical contact?! Not even a kiss and cuddle? Don't think THAT'S ever gonna happen!

You can't police their every move FFS. Certainly not now he's not in school. So you need to find a way to drag a line in the sand that they WILL respect.

And as for DS2 disowning his brother confusedangry

daisydoodoo Thu 20-Jun-13 19:14:07

Oh yes I meant other than kissing and cuddling im not that naive.

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