flow just needs a quick moment of pride! :)

(84 Posts)
flow4 Mon 17-Jun-13 16:50:45

My DS1 has just had his end of first year BTEC diploma results, and has bagged himself a clutch of passes, one merit and one distinction. smile

Anyone who has read my posts over the last few years will know we've been through a lot, and nine months ago (when he was taking drugs, getting arrested, stealing, being violent towards me and generally being a total arse) I could never have imagined this was possible. And more importantly, I know he couldn't either.

I am so proud of him for getting himself together and working so hard this year. It's really hard to believe it'll last, but I think he might have turned a corner. smile smile smile

SuperiorCat Tue 18-Jun-13 12:52:10


flow4 Tue 18-Jun-13 15:26:43

Thanks everyone. I am really touched by how many people are posting their good wishes - it's lovely! smile

And oh Maryz, I am soooo glad your DS sat his exams! I missed that news, and wondered, and didn't dare ask! I'll keep my fingers crossed. Then you, me, AF and anyone else whose teen has achieved something this year, can breathe a big sigh of relief and crack open the bubbly! grin

willwegetthrough Tue 18-Jun-13 16:02:30

Great post! Well done Flow DS1 for achievement and Flow (and Flow DS2) for hanging in there!

Oh, what lovely news. I have been away from MN for a while and this is the first thread I clicked on, and, wow, fantastic news!


LineRunner Tue 18-Jun-13 16:11:27

My DD, who wasn't even living with me for some weeks a little while back, is finishing her first year at sixth-form college and is in the Rock Challenge regional finals.

I think she is going to go to university.

She doesn't always seem mega-happy, but fingers crossed, like you say flow. smile

goinggetstough Tue 18-Jun-13 18:07:31

Great News!

tuttifrootie Tue 18-Jun-13 18:32:49

How absolutely fantastic Flow!

Well done to you both. That's black and white evidence that all your effort and refusing to give up (and blood, seat and tears!) have paid off!

The start of better things to come and a great future for your son, I am sure, so hope you have some time to look after yourself now. xxx

Rascalls3 Tue 18-Jun-13 20:10:11

Awwh this has made my day. Flow you are a huge source of common sense, wisdom and comfort to so many. So happy for you and your son.

SanityClause Tue 18-Jun-13 20:15:28

Oh, LineRunner, I remember your DD moving out.

I'm so pleased she came back, and that she's working things out.

AnyFucker Tue 18-Jun-13 20:28:17

yes, congrats, LR....I remember your traumas too

igotaway Tue 18-Jun-13 20:42:46

Just a few words from me Flow - well, well done, to both of you

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 18-Jun-13 20:48:56

That's wonderful. Well done, to both of you.

flow4 Tue 18-Jun-13 20:49:58

Line, I'm really pleased for you, and well done to your DD! The Rock Challenge is no mean feat! smile My DS is talking about university too, which is amazing, considering that this time last year he was talking about spending his life on the dole getting stoned, and the year before school were telling him he'd be lucky to get two Es at GCSE. hmm I am so happy he looks set to prove them wrong!

flow4 Tue 18-Jun-13 20:50:39

And thanks everyone! grin

flow4 Tue 18-Jun-13 23:08:22

Awwwww! DS has just wandered downstairs and stopped off (on his way to get yet more food!) to say to me "Y'know, a year ago I would never have imagined I'd be where I am today... I've done alright, haven't I mum?" smile smile smile

LineRunner Tue 18-Jun-13 23:20:14

Aaaw, thanks for all the kind words. smile

You are right, flow, things can turn around quite dramatically, for the better.

Maryz Wed 19-Jun-13 00:16:31

Oh, line I'm delighted she is home smile

It is nice to have some good news for a change smilesmile

How's things for you atm, Laura? I was thinking of you the other day.

Doinmummy Wed 19-Jun-13 01:00:39

That's fantastic news Flow . Well done to your son and you x

Fantastic news, Linerunner I am so pleased she is home again. All these positive stories - it's so heartwarming. And it shows how right we all are not to give up on these tricky children, because they so often grow out of the challenging behaviour.

I am fine, Mary , thank you so much for asking. You are the first person to ask after me for a while <violins> DS is keeping his head down, obeying all the rules <hollow laugh> and is itching to on with his life, so is taking all available advice. So maybe this will be a turning point for him. I hope so. We are just learning to say 'Nope' when he starts asking for money/more visits/a home when he comes out. It's difficult to harden our hearts but he has had enough chances. If he hasn't learnt from all this, then there is no help for him <shrug> (see how detached I am? grin )

Anyway, it is so lovely to hear how much progress all the families have made. I am so happy for you all (and a teeny bit envious, but in a nice friendly sort of way)


LineRunner Wed 19-Jun-13 08:27:03

Thanks, Maryz. The advice on here was very, very good. I managed to finally stand up to and set my ExH straight about a few things at the same time, following a discussion on Relationships.

I started to learn to differentiate between the stuff that actually matters and that stuff that just drives you nuts.

emsiewill Wed 19-Jun-13 08:29:36

You don't know me flow (I mainly lurk on the teen threads hoping to become wise by osmosis by reading posts from people like you), but I am so pleased for you. You offer so many people such wise advice, you and your ds deserve this great news.

LineRunner Wed 19-Jun-13 08:30:01

Laura, if he's itching to get on with his life, then that's got to be major progress. flowers

I hope so, Line

I am keeping everything crossed.

Maryz Wed 19-Jun-13 10:36:54

That sounds fairly hopeful Laura. It must be very tough to have to visit him, but hopefully you can put it to one side when you aren't actually there and relax a bit.

It will be hard when he comes out. It is so difficult with kids like this to completely cast them off so we constantly veer between not wanting to over-help (so they learn to stand on their own two feet), but still wanting to support. It's very confusing.

Flow: "I've done alright, haven't I mum?" - that's really great. It's fantastic when they start to get a teeny bit of self-belief back.

ds (as you all know) stopped school at just 15. Last June all his peers finished their A-level equivalents and headed off to university. But a lot of them have dropped out, some of them ended up on the same level of post-school course as he did, some of them have just been sitting at home for a year. So suddenly he is no longer behind, no longer a failure, no longer "the one who dropped out". I think that has given him a boost.

In particular I met the mother of a friend of his the other day - the one mother who refused to talk to me at all when he went off the rails and blamed me for the whole thing. I was guiltily rather pleased when I discovered that her son who had been sent to a very expensive school for the last two years of his education had flunked his exams, got onto a course he didn't want to do and dropped out, costing them a fortune. The temptation to say (as she had said to me five years ago) "some kids just aren't worth bothering with" was very strong. But I resisted.

It's tough, yes, Mary, but it's given us some breathing space to work out how we want to proceed with him.

The other children, my marriage, our bank balance and our sanity have never been healthier, so we have no inclination to have him back or bankroll him any more. He has made his bed and all that. We have told him - we love you dearly and you are welcome back for Sunday lunch but you have to find your own way now. Harsh but the other way was just enabling him to create merry hell for himself and all around him.

So that's sort of good news from me too. My DS may or may not have changed, but we have changed the way we deal with him and are much happier. And life is so much better.

It must be a funny sort of relief to find that some of your DS's peers are misbehaving or underperforming too. And, Ha! to the woman who was so sneery about him. Karma in action, I say wink

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