My 16 yr old son goes out every available moment he can. We hardly see him. He knows I'm unhappy abt it- I was crying the other day. Last year he smoked loads of weed, nearly got excluded from school but then at xmas he got panic attacks and derealisation from the weed (plus we have a family history of depression). He still has the derealisation thing, which is part of anxiety. He's on sertraline for the anxiety. He had really modified his going out after the panic attacks and Im sure hes not taking weed but he has recently gone back to going out every single available minute that he can- from the moment he wakes up at the weekend/from when he hme from school until 10/1030.
I keep saying to myself I wish he wasnt my son- which i know isnt helpful but its how i feel. Being firm doesnt seem to work. When I am verbally derogatory abt him that has some impact but i dont want to parent that way. When he was taking weed last year I said some terrible things to him - admittedly i was at the end of my tether. I think I might try withdrawing my energy from him - eg when he goes out I usually text him alot and he replies. From now on I'm going to text him the minimum amount.
I fantasise abt beating my son up........god that sounds terrible. But I am holding onto so much anger abt him. Im scared of showing that anger to him + I'm scared of the person i become with that anger. I'm angry with my husband too who is so passive abt my sons behaviour.
And while im here I hate it when people at work tell me their problems with their teenagers and im thinking you have no fucking idea what its like. I feel like a failure and sometimes i wish those smug parents who have seemingly 'perfect' (or good enough) teenagers could experience what its like to have a teenager who doesnt care.
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Teenagers
I wish he wasnt my son
11 replies
pillpoppermum · 10/05/2013 08:49
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mindfulmum ·
10/05/2013 17:55
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