Wtf do I do now

(7 Posts)
GROOVEYCHICK Thu 09-May-13 15:30:47

Hi me again my dd is 14 and she left her fboolk logged in on my phone and she has been really weird and I read it and she has has sex with her b friend
No mention of protection
I feel sick what the fuck do I do x

JeanPaget Thu 09-May-13 15:42:17

Stop looking at your daughter's Facebook for a start?

QueenQueenie Thu 09-May-13 15:59:21

Perhaps she wants / needs you to know?
I think you need to talk with her, calmly. Soon.
At 14 you need to be able to help her with this.

GROOVEYCHICK Thu 09-May-13 16:14:00

she said that she made it up to shut up all the people that were pressuring them
dont believe that but might have to pretend i do till shes ready to talk

Pretend to believe her, but talk to her about contraception and STDs etc anyway. And about peer pressure of course. All in a "Of course this is for later, but when you do start to feel ready you need to think about..." sort of way.

Whether they are or not, she needs this kind of advice sooner or later and this is as good a way to start the conversation as any.

Mullinsamy Sat 11-May-13 16:14:50

To reply to JeanPaget, I firmly believe that to give someone as young as 14 absolute privacy is bonkers. Teenagers are so vulnerable these days as a result of social media. To not check on them by looking, is almost neglectful. How is it any different than ensuring you know where they are and who they are with? If teenagers as young as 14 were always capable of making wise, informed and logical choices, that don't need supervision and checking up on, then fine, but they are not.

JeanPaget Sat 11-May-13 16:41:25

I understand that, but I think there's a difference between (1) having an open, constructive discourse with your child, setting limits for their social media use and, if necessary, letting them know that you will be monitoring their internet use and communication. Or (2) just checking up on them behind their back, and without them knowing that that’s something you are prepared to do.

Knowing where your child is about keeping them physically safe, looking through their phone or facebook accounts is seeking information that they aren’t prepared to share with you themselves. If you want that information from your child, you should build up the sort of relationship with them where they’re happy to discuss it with you.

I think AMumInScotland's has given some very good advice about how to go about talking to your daughter about this.

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