Should I enforce this punishment or am I being mean?

(55 Posts)
flossieraptor Wed 01-May-13 16:14:51

I'm not sure what to do.

DS has just done his DofE camping weekend. He got back on Sunday about 12 and had a massive strop at me because I had had the temerity to leave the house and he didn't have his key and hadn't called ahead. Hung up on me. He had to wait 15 minutes and was in a strop. We had bought him all new stuff (walking shoes etc.). He had all day SUnday to recover, ate a huge dinner, said he was shattered etc. On Monday morning he refused to get out of bed, declared he had a temp, he didn't. then he said it was just that his muscles were aching. I told him that while I sympathised, he should still go to school. He refused point blank to get out of bed. I said I would dock him a week of his pocket money if he didn't go. He said he didn't care and didn't go.

Am I being mean? My mother always made me go to school unless I was actually ill.

For background, he is not my son, he is my DH's nephew who has been with us for 3 years.

Maryz Fri 10-May-13 08:39:19

Oh, and I think 13 to 15 (possibly 16) are the hardest years.

If they are still relatively human at 16, it is all pretty much plain sailing from there.

mamateur Fri 10-May-13 08:59:54

My parents still blanche when they talk about 'me at 15'. I remember it felt like solid PMT.

Thanks for your post Maryz, I think he does know I'm on his side smile

chocoluvva Fri 10-May-13 10:30:47

mamateur I haven't read any of your other threads but I'm really impressed that he's doing the DofE.

And I completely agree with Maryz about 13-15/16 being the most difficult stage.

I take my hat off to you for taking in your DN - I was anxious about the possibility of having to have my DN (16) for just the weekends in term time! blush

I know how difficult it is when other adults are undermining too - just awful. You can't say anything in front of DN. He will increasingly appreciate the support you've given him as he gets older.

mamateur Fri 10-May-13 13:59:48

Chocca if I may boast, for his DofE he's learning Spanish (tutor every week) as the skill and doing the scuba diving course as at the physical activity. So much more than I would have done at his age!

chocoluvva Fri 10-May-13 15:02:10

That's very impressive.

(I don't know if I'd have been up for DofE at the age of 17 either. The physical activity would have had to be table tennis and the skill would have had to be driving-my-mum-mad-with-worry!)

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