DS age 13 who has stinking attitude problem... Help !!

(13 Posts)
Buttonsbythesea Mon 29-Apr-13 18:17:41

Please help me with my 13 year olds attitude and complete lack of respect!
6 times this school year he has been to the school nurse telling her he has been sick (she has never actually seen him do this) . They send him home and there is never anything wrong with him. We have talked at length and he assures me there are no problems - in fact he told his teachers at parents evening how much he loves school !
Well he did it again today . I came in from work to find him watching tv and playing in his lap top. After talking he admitted that he had made the sickness up (again). Took laptop away and spoke to him. He has absolutely no remorse , says it does not matter that he misses school.
What sanctions should I impose ? He doesn't go out much as he says its boring and cold so grounding is pointless. Whatever is suggested he just shrugs off . He does not accept any responsibility for his actions and its driving me mad !!! And he is so rude when he talks to me !! ( not all the time though - just when confronted about something he has done wrong)
Any help greatly appreciated !!!

specialsubject Mon 29-Apr-13 18:31:42

he can get away with leaving school and sitting on his arse, so he does it.

stop the school sending him home - the nurse should be able to spot a liar! Remove all internet and phone use except that needed for school. Remove anything else that he likes and enjoys, he gets it back when he stops lying.

best of British...

usualsuspect Mon 29-Apr-13 18:34:04

You need to have a chat with the school. Do they just allow him to leave school and go home without informing you?

Rosesforrosie Mon 29-Apr-13 18:36:26

Talk to school. Stop him at the source.

Wifi switched off/change password for the rest of this week.

Dumpylump Mon 29-Apr-13 18:38:27

I think you need to speak to the school. It shouldn't be the case that he is able to leave school and come home without you being informed. What if he really was ill and collapsed en route, for example?
But since there's actually bugger all wrong with him, then maybe they could be taking a slightly harder line.

Buttonsbythesea Mon 29-Apr-13 18:42:48

Thanks for the replies.
The school did ring me at work but I couldn't leave work to get him and there was no one else to have him so the school suggested he went home and I agreed. Have emailed the school and they have replied saying they will talk to the school nurse. I have asked if its compulsory for him to leave as I would rather they tell him to go back to class and get on with it.

Orchidlady Fri 03-May-13 09:00:12

Reading this with interest, DS 13 keeps "being sick" then I get a call from school nurse to pick him up, bloody 10 mile drive. And surprise suprise when he gets home is perfectly ok. Like you son, he seem happy at school and no issues. I was going to start thread this morning as he had refused to go to school, he does have a cold but in my opinion well enough to go but know full well if I made him go will get call from school to pick him up. Any suggestions?

musickeepsmesane Fri 03-May-13 09:08:59

You need to 'nurse' him. Bed, cod liver oil, feed him soup he doesn't like, ask him every 5 minutes is he ok, take his temp. No telly cos when you are ill it makes you dizzy. No music cos when you are it is can make you dizzy. My kids are never ill grin Most of all tho', you need to tell the school to ignore him.

cory Fri 03-May-13 09:11:54

It's a great idea musickkeepmesake, but it depends on the OP being at home to do it, not being at work for the best part of the day.

In this situation, I would probably ask the school to call a meeting with your ds, yourselves and the head of year. Explain that you are really upset about this, that you quite see how bad it is though your son doesn't seem to see it, and that you would like to work with the school to resolve it.

musickeepsmesane Fri 03-May-13 09:14:42

It is a bit strange that school send him home to an empty house. Surely that in itself is a safety issue?
Tho' once home from work you can still kill them with kindness.

mrs2cats Fri 03-May-13 09:15:38

Interesting. DS who's 12 does this too. Last year I told his form teacher that he only pretends to be sick to go home and to see if they would keep him at school. It worked but then this year, new form teacher, it started all over again.

The last time this happened I sent him straight to bed, no mobile, no kindle, nothing as he was 'ill'. I think he found it very boring and not worth coming home from school for. It's been a while now since I've had a call from the school. Fingers crossed!

livinginwonderland Fri 03-May-13 10:01:18

you just have to make it boring for them to be at home. no television, no internet, no music, no reading, no phone - just bed, bread and water and sleep. they fake sick because being at home with unlimited internet and tv access is much better than being stuck in a classroom!

if you're not home during the day, change the wi-fi password or take the cable that connects the box up and take it to work! same with the cables for the tv.

Deathwatchbeetle Fri 03-May-13 11:47:49

Ummm not a mum but when at school I did this. I absolutely hated school. It was sh*te. My brother agreed with me although he did go on to College and Uni. We had absolutely crap teachers. We wanted to learn but the rest of the class did not. I got bored of teachers coming in one day and then never again and so used to 'feel sick' I actually did have migraines but I think the sickness was imagined.

NOt saying this is your son's problem - he might just be a typical teen, but just to say really that not every teen skives because they cannot be arsed. I hated school from the miniute I arrived til the minute I left! My Dad was the same!!!

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