My DS is 15 and has a twin sister. He used to be quite easy going. I am at my wits' end now. It isnt just that he is simmering with anger that's the problem, it's how he deals with it. As soon as anyone says anything that might put an imposition on him he immediately says no, leave me alone, and then if challenged further, threatens never to speak to you again, or to kill himself. Some example: please empty the dishwasher (me), have you done your homework (DH), stop playing like a dick (friends). He now says all his friends are shits, but i can see he has probably been like this to them. My mum drives him and DD home from school bus stop ( we are v rural, dangerous walk home) and he is talking nonsense about eg travellers and my mum puts the alternative view across, he insisted she stop the car, he got out walked home and has not seen her or spoken to her since, indeed leaves the house when she comes round.
My DH is soft, appeasing and 'hates conflict' and does lots for DS and DD. never says boo to a goose. I'm stroppy and aggressive according to him!
DS won't talk about 'it' when he has a row with someone, he just cuts them off.
I have two questions for you dear reader; how do I 'get him' to think about others, do anything for anyone else, think about the effect he is having on himself, see the pattern of behaviour he is getting into, of dumping all his blame and anger on anyone who dares to disturb his personal world, when he won't talk or listen to anyone?
And what is the best thing to say or do when he is saying eg 'let me out of the car this minute or I will kill myself when I get home. He is always genuinely distressed in these moments, near to tears, in emotional pain. But any kind of conversation about it is impossible.
He also has at other times been open about how low he feels and how life is pointless and he wishes he was dead, has pthought through how to kill himself with least pain. He says he hates himself and everyone else. I know he texts some girl in the USA who he says he loves, who also says she is suicidal.
At school he is vv bright and he is still working at school, no problems there, he is not taking any drugs or smoking or drinking, he is in many ways a very puritanical person. It's becoming a huge problem in the home, as I now feel v angry with DH for being so useless (!) and his twin now sees her brother getting away with eg not doing any chores and generally getting his own way because we are all so scared of tipping him over the edge into suicide ( which his dad thinks is v possible, whereas I'm not sure it isn't just a self indulgent melodrama unconsciously maybe, but that means he has his life as he wants it.
Sorry for the length and v grateful for any advice or views
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Teenagers
My 15 DS using emotional blackmail? or really suicidal?
10 replies
MrsJackAubrey · 19/04/2013 23:24
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mindfulmum ·
20/04/2013 08:01
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Maryz ·
20/04/2013 23:42
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Maryz ·
21/04/2013 00:36
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