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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Teenage relationships

14 replies

Ohsotricky · 31/03/2013 17:37

My daughter is 15 and has had a boyfriend the same age for almost 6 months now. They spend a lot of time together and seem to get on very well but do not seem to have a physical relationship beyond the odd hug when they part. While I think many parents are worried that their teenagers are getting up to too much I am concerned that this isn't normal! She seems to think she is too young for anything more but surely at this age you would expect them to want to at least kiss each other? I can't quite put my finger on why I am worried but I think that it is probably that I think she may get hurt. It seems to me that they are friends only and anyday now he will meet someone that he actually fancies and leave her stranded whilst she thinks she is in a "serious" relationship.
Is it possible that after all this time a physical relationship may grow or can I assume that that is it? I certainly don't want them to be sleeping together but just experiencing what I consider to be normal for their age!!

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MooMooSkit · 31/03/2013 17:39

How do you know they don't have proper kisses and stuff alone? She sounds really sensible though to be honest.

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cazboldy · 31/03/2013 17:39

well I'd say she seems very sensible! 15 is not that old, and if she was sleeping with him, surely she would be more likely to get hurt in the long run, particularly if you feel their relationship is a bit one sided.

FWIW - I got pg at 14, and my parents had no idea we were doing any more than a peck on the cheek goodnight until they found out!

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cazboldy · 31/03/2013 17:40

and "after all this time" do you really think 6 months is a long time?

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MooMooSkit · 31/03/2013 18:04

I agree and if it makes you feel better, I was with a boy for a year at that age and we split up and never ever had sex, we only ever got as far as a bit of breast fondling and that wasn't till around 8 months. I just didn't feel ready! Some teens do have their heads screwed on :-)

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Ohsotricky · 31/03/2013 18:28

Perhaps my concern is that she is being TOO sensible!! I don't want her to end up being worried that having a kiss and a cuddle is wrong!!

I am quite sure that they aren't doing anything else because we have talked openly about it and I do trust her to be honest.

I know that in adult terms 6months isn't that long but perhaps it is for teenage relationships?

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MooMooSkit · 31/03/2013 20:16

Hmm it depends who she has round her. I remember at 15 I had a few friends who'd had the same "boyfriends" since year 8! Then some of my friends had had several. She does sound like she is just waiting till she's totally ready which is really refreshing to see. You should be proud of her! And it sounds like she would come to you if she need be so carry on what you are doing, your doing a fab job!

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Ohsotricky · 01/04/2013 16:59

Thank you for the encouragement😊

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Ohsotricky · 01/04/2013 17:00

Um, that odd number at the end was supposed to be a smiley!!

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usualsuspect · 01/04/2013 17:01

Maybe they do their full on snogging when they are alone?

They are not going to do it in front of you are they?

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Ohsotricky · 02/04/2013 09:05

If they did snog, then no, I wouldn't expect them to do it in front of me. But the point I am making is that they DON'T do it at all. I honestly do believe her on that otherwise I wouldn't be asking the question!!

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usualsuspect · 02/04/2013 14:25

Oh sorry, I must learn to read

I'm not sure whats going on then. It's sort of sweet though. Maybe they are just mates?

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Ohsotricky · 02/04/2013 17:03

Well, it is very sweet and I am thinking that in reality that they are just mates although she definitely refers to him as her boyfriend! Where I was going originally was to wonder if after having a platonic relationship for a while whether it is likely that anything else will develop now or if it would have done already if it was going to!!

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titchy · 02/04/2013 17:18

Does it matter either way? They may snog, or they may not feel ready for that, or it may be platonic. He might dump her tomorrow, he might not. She might dump him, she might not. She might be devastated, she might not. Can't change it, or protect her - she has to learn about relationships at her own pace.

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Cooroo · 03/04/2013 07:34

My DD is 16 and is finally 'going out' with a boy who's been a friend for a couple of years. I've seen them hug on parting but that's it. I imagine they kiss in private. Mostly though they play computer games! She was throwing up last week, so I felt compelled to ask if there was any way she could be pregnant - she was most indignant!

I'm sure our little girls will get around to more physical relationships in their own good time and then there'll be something new to worry about! For now, just enjoy it.

It's great that you (and I) can still have frank and open conversations with out DDs.

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