DD is 14, most of her friends have turned/ are turning 15, so I know this is going to keep coming up and need to find a strategy to deal with it . She's going to yet another 15th birthday party this week, and all the kids are talking about what alcohol they're taking. Vodka seems to be the tipple of choice (and how can they afford it anyway? ). DD is a nice kid, doesn't drink (the odd glass of champagne at Xmas party with adults) and is wary of situations where she'll be out of her depth. One party she avoided altogether because there were some 'dodgy' kids going. At another party, she stuck to Coke , but then had the piss taken out of her for weeks afterwards, so she doesn't want to do that again. At the last couple of parties she hasn't taken any alcohol to the party (not an option -looks too young to buy it) but has had a can of beer from other people. (She said she's only had one each time and I believe her because she didn't seem at all drunk). But that led to lots of sarky comments from friends about her drinking theirs that they'd paid for. This isn't going to go away, so we have to work out how to manage it. From the fact that she's told me as much as she has about these parties, I think she's behaving quite sensibly, and i'm very happy she can talk to me about it. So for the next party, i was thinking of letting her take a couple of small bottles of low alcohol beer, from home. I know I know, it's wrong to give her alcohol ! But a) we'd know what she's drinking b) she'd stick to her low-alcohol drink that she's brought, so could comfortably say No if someone offers her stronger beer or worse drinking c) she's contributing to the party and not sponging off anyone else. I sort-of know the party girl from primary school days,they seem like a nice family, her parents will be going out for an hour or so but won't be far away. What do you think and does anyone have any better ideas?
This came up recently with DD. She wanted to take vodka (oh, yeah) which we absolutely didn't allow, obviously. DS1 asked if we would be cross if he bought it for her. We said we would be, especially as we are quite open about alcohol and smoking in this house.
In the end, DD settled for Caribbean twist ready-made pina colada. It was a big bottle, had 2.8 units in the whole bottle and was 4%.
She didn't even drink the whole bottle, but she felt OK and not judged by her peers (which is important for her as she has had problems in the past).