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Are your 15 year old daughters so aggressive and selfish?!!!

5 replies

febel · 11/03/2013 08:34

Anyone out there with words of advice please? My third daughter, last one at home, who did make me a mothers day card the night before (but I think, did she do that cos her sisters do?) but otherwise gave me NOTHING..not even help or good behaviour, is so selfish and so aggressive it makes me want to cry, or leave home. This isn't helped by the fact I haven't been well lately, have had bronchitus and whooping cough and am still unwell with it.
I was really hurt by her yesterday, and yet today she acts as though it didn't happen and wanted to borrow my skirt. She screams and shouts at me, the dog is terrified by her, and in general unless it's about her is vile. She had a mini i pad for xmas, and despite promising she wouldn't tuck herself away all the time on it, barely comes down for meals. My mum and dad don't like how aggressive she can be to me, and have commented that she seems like a coiled spring. Neither of my other two were like this and I am losing the will to live...or at least to live here as a family. How can I parent someone who unless she gets her own way is vile?

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febel · 11/03/2013 08:43

can I just add...that I would just love her to actually be nice, to treat me as a person..but most of the time I feel like a thing..and god forbid if I remind her to feed her g-pig etc..that precipitates a slanging match as does the fact I said I wasn't going to iron her stuff unless she hung it up...screwing it up in her drawers cos she's too lazy to put it away isn't why I iron.
I am sorry to go on but I feel so upset over it all, and so hated by her. Hubby says I should just let her get on with it and ignore her, let her have my skirt etc..but to me that seems to be rewarding her vile behaviour cos she is getting away with it all.
Advice anyone?

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katfinks · 11/03/2013 08:47

My DD is exactly the same, she is 15 in 6 months, vile to everyone not just me but siblings, grandparents, can't keep freinds. Nobody wants anything to do with her, she lies, steals and causes trouble wherever she goes!!! in answer to your question i have no answers but just wanted to let you know you are not on your own. My DD has refused to go to school this morning , so to cut a long story short i made her get dressed and told her to get out of the house, no way is she sitting in here causing grief, warm comfortable and endless supply of food when she should be at school!! informed all family members in hope that she will be that cold that she will not do it again and go to school. fingers crossed :)

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katfinks · 11/03/2013 08:54

Only advice i can offer after reading your last post, (sounds like we are parenting the same child) put a lock on your bedroom door so she cant get at your clothes, dont iron her clothes offer the use of the iron on a specific day at a certain time and if she doesnt use it then she has to wait a week. walk away from the arguing, shut the door and just ignore her, go for a walk, my dd loves the attention from arguing so i just dont engage anymore. She does up the anti though ie by not going to school this morning, but there is no where for her to go all her friends are at school and my family have had enough of her, which is a big thing cos she was the baby, who could do no wrong but after 12 months of giving me and her siblings a dogs life everyone is seeing it now. She stole £10 of grandparents after they spoil her rotten so they dont want anything to do with her till her behaviour changes. Mary has a good thread on here for troubled teenagers take a look lots of us are going through the same thing. :)

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mindfulmum · 11/03/2013 10:54

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febel · 11/03/2013 19:00

Thank you, I will try that.It's difficult these days..you don't always know what's going on in the cyber world too as regards texts etc Would I just ask my GP outright for CBT?

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