DD2 and online porn

(5 Posts)
AnythingNotEverything Sat 09-Mar-13 22:47:44

I wonder if she saw girl on girl porn as the easiest way to compare her body with those of other young women/girls. If she is interested in other women in a sexual way, here's net to nothing you can do about it, except be supportive as you would with her in any other way.

With a nearly 13yo ds I'm waiting for porn to raise its ugly head here ... Although my plan is to ensure he understand that porn is to sex what action movies are to real life!

Best of luck.

slightlyperturbed Wed 27-Feb-13 08:46:49

Thanks all.

I agree that it is not the lesbian issue which is the problem, it's the porn. She already has body image issues (has gone dangerously close to anorexia in the past year) so I don't want her to start comparing herself with those women. Nor do I want her thinking that this is a depiction of a normal sex life.

Her dad and I separated a few months ago after years of abuse so I'm aware that she is emotionally very vulnerable. I guess this is what prompted my slight hysteria worries rather than assuming it was simply teen curiosity.

sashh Wed 27-Feb-13 07:59:01

You need to talk to her.

The main reason is that porn is not like real life. No one IRL looks like or behaves like that.

flow4 Wed 27-Feb-13 00:08:27

I wouldn't read much into it. When I was that sort of age, all the girls were reading Jilly Cooper hmm... Now the internet means there is soooo much more variety available. Some curiosity is natural I think.

However, I'm not familiar with porn, but to my mind 'hard core' means violent and nasty. Do you mean that the 'girl on girl stuff' was violent, or just that it was graphic? I'd be very worried by any child watching violent sex, and would want lonnnng conversations about the differences between love, sex, abuse of power, rape, etc...

Regarding her possible interest in lesbians, again I think that's pretty normal. If it were me, I'd pick a private moment and say something absolutely frank and straightforward like "Oh, I noticed you watched some lesbian porn the other day. Let me know if you've got any questions, won't you?" She'll probably shriek and/or die of embarrassment, but you'll have let her know you're happy to talk and not horrified! grin

slightlyperturbed Tue 26-Feb-13 21:38:56

I've namechanged for this.

DD2 is 13 in April so I figured this was the right place. Tonight she took the laptop up to her room to do her homework. She was there for two hours and when she came down she said 'I've not done much as it took me three attempts'. It was a simple book review. DD is very bright and a book review should not cause any problems at all. So, once she'd gone to bed I was curious to see what her internet history was. It was 1 hour and 45 minutes of porn. Pretty hard core. A lot of girl on girl stuff. A lot of lesbian searches. Her older sister is 15 and has never done anything like this so I'm a bit lost.

What do I do? Do I discuss this with her? Do I read anything into the lesbian element?

Needless to say, I'm not bothered so much by the fact that (if it does mean anything) she is searching lesbian rather than straight porn, but if it does mean anything her dad and his family would be 100% horrified. I'm more worried that if she feels that way she might not feel able to tell me as she might feel that I would share his revulsion.

Also needless to say, I will be installing parental controls forthwith. This is a new laptop and I totally forgot. They were installed on my old one but I got it so long ago I did not even think about it.

Any help gratefully received.

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