Thank you, think I might have a word with school next week. she tells me everything ok when we talk, but the one thing she has never got over is the death of my dm, nearly 8 years ago, but it was a break through this morning spending one on one time with her
I think you hit the nail on the head with it being "cool" at school as I have spoke to a few other parents and they say there is a group that do this
Its hard as in my teen years we bought "singles" cigs and pinched booze in milk bottles to sip in the park, now it just seems so much more!
Self harm is a symptom, not a problem in itself. Although if it's "cool" at her school she may have tried it to see what it's like. Have you tried asking her if anything is bothering her, reassuring her that she can always talk to you, and that you do remember what it's like to be a teenager and it is hard.
You might be able to have a word with the school too, not to say you're worried about her specifically, but to ask if it's being covered in assemblies, PSHE or whatever?
I don't know if this is any good, but the one for younger children is great. May have to hide it from her though or the title will be a dead giveaway
Tumblr is a bit like a cross between twitter and facebook.
I'm like Sky as I don't want her to know I am checking the history as she will start deleting it, will she know if I try the "Tumblr Saviour"?
It's the self harming and eating disorder posts I worry about. I know there is self harming happening at her school and she has told people she has done it, I found sharpeners with the blades removed but I'm certain she isn't doing it now as we been shopping this am and she asked me to help her in the changing rooms with her dresses and I sneaked a good luck, but if she was doing it then surely she wouldn't have let me see her?
Hmmm, I also check history and can see my DD 17 is looking at porn on tumblr, how would you block that on their laptop without their knowing? I think it would be on tumblr settings and she would be able to see what I'd done, therefore discovering me looking at history which I don't want her to know.
If you are worried, there is actually a way of filtering what you can see on tumblr by using what's called "Tumblr Saviour", which allows you to "blacklist" certain "tags" such as porn, NSFW, or triggering pictures (such as things that contain self harm, anorexia, or other things that may be upsetting). It is also possible to disable anonymous messages and block users to prevent bullying.
Im not good at explaining myself, Im sorry, I am as sure as I can be that she isn't doing either, but if I confront her she will start hiding the history on the laptop and want to see what she looking at. she has no mark on her arms or legs and loves her food and so far havent seen any evidence or sickness. I've never had a teen before though.
My DD2 (18) has been an avid blogger for about 4 years via tumblr. I got myself an account so I could check up on her (and other sites) and mostly it is fine.. a lot of fashion, some personal blogs etc. DD2 hasn't been hacked or had pictures messed with or anything.
My only caution is that there are a fair amount of anorexia blogs on there.. DD2 had some eating issues and we made her stay off tumblr for a while, but generally it's not a bad site.
It's a blogging site, I suggest you sign up too to get to grips with it. Generally is fine, HOWEVER there is no picture filter, you can put anything on there (naked pics etc). And people can ask you anonymous questions. Just a couple of examples that one particular (19 year old) friend is having at the moment, so she's not a young teen but she's getting bullying anon questions and someone's literally just hacked her and posted a naked pic of her on there. No porn filter so it'll stay up there till she can get back into her account!
I just ask as dd1 going on it an aweful lot and she says its only pictures and sayings and I have looked and it looks more like a chat site to me that you sign up for, I don't want to look like I am spying but am tempted to sign up or am I being over protective?