Would you let your 13 yr old wear heels?

(44 Posts)
OhIWishThereWasABook Sat 02-Feb-13 19:03:29

Dd1 has been invited to a disco. EVERYONE is wearing heels (apparently) and I'm being begged here. I think they are a bit tartly on young teens, although I love heels so its probably all my fault grin.
I'm torn between yuck and oh it's only for a couple of hours in a hall.
Btw, I'm only talking 2 inch/wedge type things, not stripper heels.
WWYD?

GraduallyGoingInsane Mon 25-Feb-13 20:02:38

I have 4 DDs. I've let them wear heels to parties from about 13 onwards - actually DD3 is only 12 and borrows her sisters from time to time. My family are all somewhat vertically challenged so it was a big deal in DD1s head from fairly young (at 16 she might just scrape 5ft now) and her sisters just follow her path. DD1 wears monster heels now, and although I'm sure they can't be comfortable, it's not something I think is worth fighting over. DD2 and DD3 stick to the lower heeled ankle boots and wedges (for now) which is fine for parties.

Thankfully their school is very strict so it's never been an option there, but that would be a no. Likewise, I'd be unimpressed if they tried to wear them all day in town or something. A couple of hours at a party or for dinner, in my opinion, isn't a big deal.

OldBeanbagz Mon 25-Feb-13 16:08:19

I would let my DD wear 2 inch wedge type shoes and she's only 11 years old.

I know that lots of people will say that your DD's probably exaggerating about everyone wearing them. Maybe she is but what's the harm. I'm assuming you won't be letting her dress tartily in any case?

Startail Mon 25-Feb-13 16:00:12

Yes it freaked me out when the station master queried whether my, not dressed up and very minimally, if at all, made up DD1 (14) was in fact eligible for a under 16's ticket.

I guess it's that she is taller than me and actually the fact that she doesn't try and look grown up that does it.

Theas18 Sun 24-Feb-13 20:49:00

Yes I would. Dd2 is 13 now and adopted a pair of dd1s heeled brogues (lace ups) last Xmas. She looks fine in them and walks better in them than her big sister.

The fact that she looks about 16, when dressed up and made up entirely appropriately just freaks me out but that's my problem bit hers lol.

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 24-Feb-13 18:56:16

Wow I'm really quite surprised about this thread, in school from year 7 we started wearing heels (most DMs including mine were oh no keep your clarks or kickers) but it was the higher the better by 13! Cannot believe so many dd's never having worn heels before by now at least for party shoesshock

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 24-Feb-13 18:51:34

They offer no support to the foot and in order to keep them on your feet you end up sort of clenching your toes.

HorribleMother Sun 24-Feb-13 10:42:52

Why, Pictures?

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 23-Feb-13 19:28:01

Ballet flats are really bad for your feet.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 23-Feb-13 19:27:26

Probably yes. Dd wears a concealed wedge heeled show for school as they suit her ridiculously high arched foot better than totally flat shoes.

mumslife Sat 23-Feb-13 19:22:16

my daughter is sixteen and i am only just letting her now for parties!

Snog Wed 20-Feb-13 06:43:28

Fine for two hours at a party
I think high heels are the devils work but my dd can come to her own conclusions!

frenchfancy Wed 20-Feb-13 06:39:02

I don't. But more because her feet are still growing and I want to protect them now as much as I did when she was 5. Fortunately it isn't such a problem here.

VincenzaOfSaragossa Tue 19-Feb-13 20:46:26

I got a pair at 13 and loved them. I am the least tarty person I've ever met, and only ever wear flat shoes now (don't even possess any heels). I'd be happy for my DD to have a pair for a disco when she's 13. It's all in the context, methinks.

fitting in not fighting in grin

My dd is 13 and asked to wear heels to party last year, hummed and hawed & gave in. When I went to pick her up every single girl came out in bare feet carrying their high heels. I would never want to stop her from fighting in as for teenagers their peer group and being accepted is everything. she has also given me & her dad and the neighbours a few giggles by her highly entertaining bambi impression as she toddles down the road (Bambi not tarty!) smile

BackforGood Sun 17-Feb-13 14:29:41

I would, indeed, have.
In fact dd2 has worn her sister's outgrown heels to church already (she's 11). By wearing them, she's worked out they aren't comfy or practical, and has gone back to her flat ballet pumps wink

Yes but now she knows they are soooo uncomfortable and rarely wears them.

AnyFucker Fri 15-Feb-13 09:15:05

I am a raving feminist, and I would let her

It's a phase they go through

Keep talking to her about the things that are really important, and you won't go far wrong smile

Jimalfie Fri 15-Feb-13 09:12:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ligs Fri 15-Feb-13 01:30:34

I let mine wear 2 inch wedge heels to a school party. I was glad I agreed as there were lots of girls there wearing much higher and proper stilettos. This way she didn't feel left out but I gave her a pair of ballet pumps to take with her and yep, she changed after about an hour.

I think it was the 'being seen' in them that was the most important factor.

manicmother80 Fri 15-Feb-13 00:44:49

I think that a 13 year old wearing a kitten heel or little wedge is perfectly fine, especially if her dress isn't short or too 'sexy'. Peer pressure is paramount at that age and IMO it's good to let them do little things that everybody else will be doing as long as it isn't harmful/ outrageous/ unsafe/ unreasonable, so that you can save the arguments and battles for the important stuff like sex/ alcohol/ parties/ education/ internet safety.

ThePathanKhansWitch Sun 03-Feb-13 00:42:27

Maybe a kitten heel.

Startail Sun 03-Feb-13 00:31:53

Yes, but she won't. DD1 likes comfort.

11 yo DD2 wore the same stilettos as the adult bridesmaid perfectly happily (they all had flats for the evening).

No requests to wear heels since, but I expect she will wear them. I did to discos from 14 ish.

ripsishere Sun 03-Feb-13 00:12:40

I would not be concerned apart from the discomfort angle. I would much rather my DD wore wedges than proper heels.

Can't even imagine my Converse-wearing, rugby-playing 13yo in heels...she freely admits that she doesn't care what she looks like!

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