I despair of DS1

[Saltire]

He has been going to see an orthodntist for more than a year now, and today they discharged him - he's not getting a brace as he won't clean his teeth properly. His teeth are really crooked and affect how he eats, but he doesn't give a fuck, he just laughed at the dentist apparently when he said his teeth weren't good enough. We even get him disclosing tablets, but he won't let us see how bad it is he gets stroppy and starts hding his face if we try to see.

There are arguments every day about it. he won't wash his hair or his face either. His hair is greasy and causes spots on his forehead and he ahs lots of spots and blackheads all over his face.
DH bought him a scrub thing for teenagers and he won't use it "I don't like water on my face". We got him facial wipes. He winds it round his finger and dabs at his face. "I don't like the feel of it on my skin"
He goes for a shower and moves the shower head so his hair doesn't get wet "you didn't tell me to wash it" is his response if we ask why it's not washed.
He only puts deodorant on if we tell him to "You didn't tell me to put some on" is a favourite expression. He has started running himself baths, and we (dh and I) think it's so he can get out of washing his hair

he is nearly 15 and I despair of him. part of me wants to give him a bloody good scrub, the other part wants to say "be stinky then"".
I could really do with some advice as I get so wound up by this

[specialsubject]

tell him that if he wants to stink like a dog, he can sleep where the dog does - in the outside kennel.

regarding the teeth, let him know what dentistry costs and that you will not be paying.

[secretscwirrels]

Er has he passed puberty? Many boys go through this phase albeit a little younger than 15.
I suspect he will have a major change when he starts taking an interest in girls. It won't be impossible to sort his teeth out later when he is mature enough to do it properly.

[boxoftricks]

My niece (15) has just been discharged from the orthodontist. She refused to wear her removable brace to help space her teeth out in preparation for train tracks. She was warned several times that she if her teeth weren't ready, the orthodontist wouldn't sign off on the nhs braces. Last visit, she hadn't worn it as told, was told that she wasn't getting braces, that was it.
She doesn't realise that this chance isn't going to come again and its so frustrating.
Wait till he gets a gf... you won't be able to get him out of the shower!

[cheeseandwino]

I think this is quite normal at 15. Give it a year and he will be spending 15+ minutes in the shower and costing you a flippin fortune in lynx, listerine and tresemme. Sorry, this isn't very helpful re. Braces. (Mum of 3 teenage boys).

[cham72]

I still have the same problem - my son is 14 and thinks bathing/washing/teeth cleaning is a valuable waste of tv/laptop/x box/sleeping time. I have to tell him every morning have you put on deodrant, wash your face, clean your teeth and every evening the same - have a bath, clean your teeth, wash your hair. I feel i should record this and play it back every time. He would be quite happy to walk around with greasy, smelly hair and bad breathe. He too has spots.

He's got better at getting in the bath although unless i smell the shower gel i am sceptical.

I've told him enough times that if he doesn't look after his hygiene, people at school will soon notice and tell him and not in a nice way.

He wears a brace and was told if he didn't go with clean teeth he wouldn't be treated - he also has had teeth removed (this was for the brace) and fillings. I have been told that soon enough he will be using all the hot water and spending more time in the bathroom than anywhere else in the house - but I am not so sure.

[Mrscupcake23]

Hopefully your son will find a girlfriend and he will change.

My son refused to wear a brace when he was 11. He is now 16 and his teeth just straightened out on their own, I spent hours trying to get him to agree to one. To be honest his teeth are fine.

[SlumberingDormouse]

I sympathise, but I myself rejected a brace when I was 12. I hated my orthodontist (a very unsympathetic and - ironically - smelly old man!) and my teeth didn't bother me. I may get them straightened out at some point but that will be my choice. I have never regretted turning down the treatment.