Thanks for your reply roisin. Would you mind telling me how much your boys get (or got) at 13? My DSes have bank accounts and cash cards too... My DS1 gets his fares and lunch money paid into that, plus cash on a Friday eve; but my DS2 doesn't have fares or lunch money or phone to pay (free bus, packed lunches and contract that I pay) so I just need to work out how much 'spending money' is reasonable.
I'm finding it hard because there is a 5 year age-gap between them, and obviously a 17yo has more expenses than a 13yo... But DS2 is only getting £10/mth, and has been for over a year now, so I'm thinking it might be time for a 'rise'... Along with greater expectations about what he buys for himself
No cash card here, wouldn't be convenient. DS gets £13/month (=his age). That's leisure spending only. I pay for lunches, train pass, phone and clothes (inexpensive tastes, anyway).
If I expected DS to budget for his own food he'd never eat a thing when out! Equally his phone would never have credit, he'd try to walk 10 miles to school in the snow and heaven knows what would happen to his clothes and footwear.
lljkk, your DS sounds like my DS1 when it comes to managing money! He gets a bursary from college for lunches, but I'm pretty sure he spends it on beer other things... I did experiment briefly with giving him money for toiletries, fares, clothes, etc., but it got 'wasted' and the sensible/necessary things didn't get bought...
However DS2 is much more sensible and seems good at managing money so far, but hasn't been given much responsibility because of my experiences with DS1... So I'm reviewing arrangements...
Thanks Three So you and lljkk both do the 'pocket money = age' thing. I think that a good arrangement, and I used it when mine were younger, but somewhere around the teenage years with DS1 it stopped working... I guess it depends on how much responsibility you want them to take and what you want/expect them to buy for themselves...
Dd1 is 15 and gets £30 per month in her account with a debit card. Plus mobile phone £13.50 contract. Leisure spending. She saves for some clothes. We help with others. Like she wants an expensive coat we will pay some and if she adds some she can get the expensive coat. Dd2 is nearly 12 gets £15 a month cash plus phone. £5 giffgaff payg. Again leisure.
If they want to go to the cinema with friends, for example, the first question is can you afford it?
I have kept a record (anal I know) of what I gave them so that I can see that DS2 gets roughly the same treatment as DS1. ....So from age 13 it was £20 a month paid as follows £10 cash £5 into current account £5 phone (giff gaff) This had to cover sweets, entertainment - cinema etc,and family birthday presents. I paid for all clothes, friends birthdays and any entertainment when out with the family. Grandma also gives him a bit.
I have just increased DD1's pocket money to £10 per week. I also pay for her phone contract, which is £8.50 per month.
She was on £5 per week, but she now buys all birthday and Christmas presents for her friends, from her own money. She also buys a lot of books for her kindle, and this seems a worthwhile thing to spend money on. So £5 wasn't really enough.
She doesn't really get birthday money, as her grandparents give me money to buy a gift for her, rather than giving her a cheque or cash.
scwirrels, it's not 'anal', it's social history ... And useful - cheers!
Sanity, my DS2 is very good with his money - he doesn't buy much at all - and was able to pay for all his Christmas presents (about £35 in total) out of his £10 per month! But I suspect that's because he doesn't want much, and I end up paying for quite a lot that I think it would be good for him to start buying for himself - e.g. hair-gel!
Sorry - "But I suspect that's because he doesn't want much, and I end up paying for quite a lot" doesn't make sense! I should have said "But I suspect that's because he doesn't want much, and I often end up paying for the few things he does want..."
dd (12yo) gets £22/month by standing order into her bank account (she has cash card), her phone topped up (less than £5/month she only uses it to text us when she's travelling to/from school) and £2 a week to get a drink on the one night a week she has a long wait to be picked up. She has packed lunches & we pay for her train & bus passes.
We buy all school related stuff & basic clothes/shoes/toiletries but if she wants anything frivolous she pays for it herself!