Teens do need a lot of time and attention, and they tend to want it when it suits them (and will ignore you at other times) so it must be hard when you have three other children to look after. Can you take DD out for a day somewhere you both like so you won't get interruptions and can talk to her about her plans for the future?
It is a shame you can't drive, I seem to have the best heart to hearts with my teens when they are alone in the car with me and I'm driving them. The peace, proximity but lack of eye contact seem to help. Could she talk to her DF when he drives her?
she is working in a bar in town, does some day shifts but lots of late shifts too. there is always lots of tension in the house around her - but i think lots stems down to the fact that she was an only child till she was 8 - and although she loves her siblings I think there has always been resentment there too. she seems to have many issues, i dont understand why - a lot are down to her taking responsibility for herself and her actions. we have always been there to support her decisions and ried to show her a good example. guess we made mistakes somewhere!
things have been difficult with dd for a while now - and she blows up at the slightest hint of criticism. - i always tell her I love her and spend time with her when I can (I work and have 4 children). she recently started working - though the shifts are not fun and she has to get taxi's home which eat up her minimal wage. (DH refuses to pick her up at 4 in the morning, and i don't drive, or I would! ) She went to the docs today and he put her on anti- depressants and booked her in for a counselling session. feel so guilty, like i have not been a good mum - but she is so difficult to live with (her bedroom is litterally waist high with dirty clothes and rubbish etc!, she is unreliable etc etc).
the dr also gave her the results of some blood tests that were taken as her periods have stopped - and it appears she has a hormonal inbalance - they will discuss this and get back to her. I did say i would go with her to her next appointment.