support needed

[abdnshaz]

hi every 1 , ive just joined up here today with the hope of recieving some support ... my son is 15 and he has just told me he is gay .. he told the world a few days ago and seams to have the support from his friends .. but im struggiling .. :(

[youngermother1]

what are you struggling with?

[CerysBore]

Hi

Welcome to MN or this thread, if you're new to it!

There is, under Teenagers, a LGBT thread - I guess lots of similar experience on there.

I guess your feelings/emotions are all over the place - I think mine would be especially as 15 is young. But what is it you're particularly concerned about?

[MuchBrighterNow]

Hi Op. Did it come as a shock or were you already suspecting that your ds might be gay ? Are you struggling out of worry for his future/ grieving for what you immagined might be ...?

It must have been huge for your ds to tell you and his friends. It's maybe something he's been dealing with alone for years. It's great for him that he has his friends support.

Be honest with him that it's difficult for you to get your head around. Try to let him know that you love and approve of him whatever his sexual orientation. He hasn't chosen to be gay , its what life has chosen for him.

[flow4]

Someone wise once said that you have to go through a bit of grieving for every change, even the positive ones. While you accept what is happening, you also need let go of all the possibilities that aren't going to happen now, and it's natural to feel a bit sad. You can feel sad for the future you imagined that isn't going to happen, but simultaneously still feel happy for your son. It can be a bit confusing to have mixed feelings - but they'll pass! Give yourself a bit of time. :)

And remember, some of your fears aren't real - they're just the normal sorts of worries mothers have for their kids because we want them to be happy and we fret about every possible thing that could go wrong!

Your son is lucky to have such a loving mother and such supportive friends. :) He's likely to have a happy life with such good support! I wish you both well. :)