Mumsnet Talk

My DDs are 14 and 17 and we don't limit their computer or phone use. We regularly talk to them about sensible behaviour and point out what can go wrong though.

In the papers where we live there was a story yesterday about a 13 yo boy being arrested for making threats on his FB page. I made sure both mine read the article and we discussed it.

We use the approach that we gradually give more freedom and if they show they are responsible they get more freedom. By the time they are 18 they need to be able to self-monitor and keep themselves safe.

If they can't get up in the morning then laptops/phones have to be left downstairs but if they are up in time and not moaning then we leave them to it.

We do know all their passwords to phone/laptop/FB, we reserve the right to look if we think there are problems.

Thanks. I made dd1 do the CEOP quizzes too although she says she has done some of it at school.

Did a cyber safeguarding course early last year & instead of me feeling more in control I got more paranoid

DD (15) and DS (13) both still leave laptops/Ipods/phones downstairs at night mostly so I know they get a good nights sleep. With regard to access to their FB accounts I too had their passwords but this September decided to let them change them - they do need some privacy and I felt that I had to start trusting them at some time. More so applies to DD as DS not that bothered atm.

You can limit in your own house what they can/can't access via the web.

They also have plenty of talks in school regarding what they should/shouldn't do over the web and the dangers of social networking sites. I still am friends with both of mine on FB but my dd now uses Twitter and Kik which I do not have - again it's down to trust.

Regarding time spent on Internet - my DS is worse and so during term times I do limit how long he can have access to internet hence laptops etc downstairs when they go to bed. I also sometimes only let him have access after homework etc.

Hope this helps

How do you monitor ? How often etc? Any tips/rules welcome!

I'm probably quite paranoid ( see a lot of dodgy stuff at eork) but would like some rational responses so I know where I should aim!

Dd1(13) got an iPod touch from xh & it's set up from their computer so I'm more limited than I like ditto FB although I can access hers via the iPod.

I've access to her email.

The FB thing bothers me as she's mainly her SMs family/xh family rather than friends and they aren't censoring stuff ( although so far it's sweary rather than anything else). Dh & I are both on her list but he doesn't post & I censor mine to who I want to see it usually.

Dd1 isn't likely to use it for anything dodgy but whatever I set will be in force for dd2 who will be more likely to be influenced/use inappropriately so I want to get it right ASAP.

Also need some sort of limit on time on it as all she has done for a week is play games.

Currently basic rules are
I have access to anything (but don't check v often at the moment-they don't know how much)
They leave phones/iPods etc downstairs at night.