How much allowance does your 16/17 year get, and what do they pay for?

(24 Posts)
mamhaf Wed 02-Jan-13 19:39:20

We're reviewing our somewhat sporadic financial arrangements with 16 (soon to be 17)-yo dd.

For reasons I don't want to go into, she's not in a position to take up work outside the home and me and dh are lucky enough to (currently) bring in a comfortable income.

However, we do want her to learn how to budget rather than us buy most of the things she needs for her.

We also want an element of "performance-related pay" in the sense that it will be linked to keeping her appalling tip bedroom in some sort of order.

Could I ask what sort of arrangements you have with your 16/17 yo dc? She has a bank account and cash card, so I'd envisage we pay her allowance into that by direct debit.

tia

niceguy2 Wed 02-Jan-13 19:43:43

Well my DD is 16 and since the age of 13 I've given her a monthly allowance which goes in direct debit into her bank account.

Out of this she is expected to pay for her own clothes and entertainment. I pay for her phone bill (£10 per month) and recently she's asked for contacts so not sure how we will work that one out yet. The first lot I got as part of her xmas present.

Like yours she's not really able to get a part time job. For us it is because it would conflict with going to her mums alternate weekends and also not keen because she has her GCSE's shortly.

I'm not sure if it is a good/bad idea to link it to keeping her bedroom tidy. Back when I had it pocket money linked to chores, they learned what jobs were worth it/not worth it. So if she decides not to bother tidying her room and takes the hit, you've no real come back.

So I switched it to a set amount each month and all the chores she does just because she lives here. If she starts moaning about how she hasn't made the mess, I just remind her that I cook her food yet I don't eat it!

It works for us anyway.

GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan Wed 02-Jan-13 19:50:49

I give DD the child benefit (so £80 or so a month) and have a standing order set up monthly. For that she does about 4 hours of housework a week (I worked it out to be about minimum wage, I did apply some thought!). She cleans the cars inside and out, cleans the bathroom every day, cooks twice a week and hoovers/mops the house through every other day, and other cleaning duties. Ad hoc jobs at the weekend to make up the time.

I gave up with the bedroom, if she wants to live like stig in the dump that's up to her. But she needs to pull her weight and help keep the rest of the house clean along with the rest of us.

I also pay her phone contract.

She has got a job recently - 2 shifts in a supermarket per week (10 hours a week) so I am gpoing to reduce her allowance, but that is offset by the fact I am paying for her car insurance every month. So she won't miss out.

I also give her petrol money to get to college (tenner a week) and dinner money in term time (also a tenner).

It adds up but I don't mind, I can afford it. If I earned less she would get less. But I want to be able to support her. She is a good girl and works hard.

GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan Wed 02-Jan-13 19:51:47

Oh, and I stopped the allowance once last year when she shirked her chores. So she knows to pull her weight.

Muminwestlondon Wed 02-Jan-13 19:54:16

DD earns about £100 a month in her part time job which she has had for a couple of months. Before that I used to give her about £100 but she was supposed to use it towards clothes and stationery. We pay for her travelcard which is about £50 a month and essential clothes and shoes. We also pay for her school trips and extra curricula activities. She takes a packed lunch but anything else she has to pay for herself. I want her to learn the value of money before she goes to Uni, and to budget, as she was wasting money on expensive presents for the cat, buying rubbish in Primark. I found that DH and I were both giving her cash and she didn't let on!

After a trip to Rymans, she has just discovered that pritt sticks, paper, pens etc are expensive! I think buying things for herself makes her realise how expensive things actually are!

Muminwestlondon Wed 02-Jan-13 19:56:03

Forgot the phone - yes DH pays for it on a contract. She has a basic blackberry, she would like the new iphone but tough I say.

foxy6 Wed 02-Jan-13 20:17:53

ds gets 30 per week for when in college EMA so he doesn't get anything during holidays and if off sick. he is expected to pay bus fair, lunch money, stationary and any extra if he goes over on his phone bill.

mamhaf Wed 02-Jan-13 21:20:04

Thanks for all your information - dd is also watching this thread! We'll have a joint discussion soon.

newyearnewattitude Fri 04-Jan-13 13:16:49

my DSD gets £15 a month (was £20 but she contributes £5 towards phone) and I pay her phone contract (£25). She will be 18 in March. The idea was we fixed her allowance at 13 and if she wanted more she needed to earn it with a part time job.

We have done the same with DS who is 13, he gets £20 a month from us and he has a paper round that pays him £12.50-£15 a week.

For both I buy the basics and they can take packed lunches etc but anything over that they pay for themselves. DSD buys all her own clothes though as she gets generous amounts of cash from DH's parents when they see her/at Xmas which DS doesn't get. Although he still spent a load of his own money on nice clothes in the sales grin

they are both expected to keep rooms tidy and do the dishes three times a week each (and ad hoc bits)

Mrsrudolphduvall Fri 04-Jan-13 16:23:47

Dd is 16 year 11.
She gets £40 a month paid into her account.
I take her clothes shopping about every 3 months and spend about £150 on her.
I buy basic toiletries, pay for haircuts...the £40 is for extras, coffees, fun basically.

She has learned not to exceed her limit o. The phone...she has to pay any excess.
She's started doing a bit of babysitting too.

seeker Sat 05-Jan-13 17:40:01

We have a very complicated arrangement, recommended by an experienced father of teens. I was dubious, but it works well. Bear in mind that we live in the back of beyond, and we want dd always to have enough money to get herself home from anywhere she might find herself. And she is very sensible.

So. We started by putting £300 in her account. From that she has £50 a month that is completely hers, she can do anything she likes with it. Every month or so we have a rough accounting- she tells us what she's spent over and above the £50. And we top it up again to £300. She pays for absolutely everything out of that, except her season ticket. It makes her feel a bit more independent- and it means she can save up out of her £50 for things like concert tickets and things.

She does sometimes earn some extra money- giving riding lessons and babysitting, but that doesn't affect what we give her.

ThePlEWhoLovedMe Sun 06-Jan-13 10:31:41

Since my kids were 11 i have always put a monthly allowance into their accounts and let them get on with it (tho monthly looked at their statements) .

Just include what they need / you want them to have ... I never included clothing money into the allowance as they wouldn't buy clothes as they are not interested.

£10 phone top up per month
£40 pocket money per month
£10 toiletries per month
£50 dinner money per month
£12 travel card per month

etc

Cooroo Sun 06-Jan-13 11:32:43

My 16 YO DD gets £10 a week for occasional buses, snacks. It doesn't go far! I mostly buy clothes, but she'll also spend birthday/christmas money on extras. If she's going to the cinema or something I'll usually give her the money unless she's got lots of savings at the time.

Reading all the above it sounds like a pretty poor arrangement! But it works for us. She's not a big spender. I'd love for her to get a job of some sort, but she's got GCSEs and also does orchestra every Saturday which I think it more important than earning!

If I ask her to do a chore, she will, but I tend to forget to ask.

chocoluvva Sun 06-Jan-13 12:16:51

My DD gets £25 a month and earns about £20 a month.

I give her money for trips into town as well, provided she's not being excessive. She spends most of her money on clothes, subsidised by her DF and me.

It's too flexible really.

TheSecondComing Sun 06-Jan-13 12:27:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinkerbelllisa Sun 06-Jan-13 20:20:04

this will make me sound really mean but I do not give my soon a regular fund. At 16 i had a Saturday and Sunday job and right now he is not at college or working. I have also asked him to do chores around the house for the fact he is not contributing anything else and eats like a horse! It would be different if he was at college but I think you should give as much as you can afford and they need to learn how to budget so tolietries,phone and fun stuff should come out of their allowance
x

doglover Sun 06-Jan-13 20:35:38

We have just agreed a monthly allowance for our 14 year old dd. Initially, this is cash every month but we hope to arrange a bank account if trial period goes well. She will receive £82 a month and this has been calculated very carefully. It covers bus fares(£15) , school lunches (£30) , own clothes/music/entertainment/friend's birthday presents. We pay for her phone - which is used rarely. We'll see how it goes ......................

niceguy2 Sun 06-Jan-13 21:42:33

Seeker, that's an interesting way of managing it. But can I ask you what is considered legitimate spending outside of the £50.

What i mean is, with the £250 remaining, what can she spend it on without incuring your wrath?

I am thinking if I tried this, DD would probably blow £250 on clothes & shoes every month. And DS would have a stack of xbox/PS3 games a mile high.

seeker Sun 06-Jan-13 21:56:40

I know, niceguy- it does seem a bit vague written down! But it does seem to work- the fact that she knows we trust her seems to make her trustworthy, if you see what I mean. She buys toiletries, clothes she needs, rather than wants, school stuff- and she rings and asks if she wants to buy anything she's not sure about.

chickenyummychicken Tue 08-Jan-13 00:59:09

eldest most sensible dd from 14 had paper round paying £17 a week. she got 10 a month phone paid for and occasional clothes eg coat for winter or essential shoes. she could get an extra £5 a week if she did her room . no food money for school - pack lunch or pay herself . clothes and socialization money herself.
she got 2 extra pt jobs at 17 since which we pay nothing to her except xmas and birthday and i help with occasional big eg a winter coat type items.

Redbat Wed 09-Jan-13 20:25:06

£40 per month.

I pay for her phone contract and haircuts.

I also buy "basic" clothes like a coat, a pair of jeans, PJs, underwear, a decent pair of winter boots.

She has - in addition to this £40 per month allowance - a part-time job which pays roughly £80 per month - out of all of this, she has to pay for:

Clothes over and above "basics"
Social life - cinema tickets, food outside of the house, bus/ taxis etc, presents for friends to take to birthday parties etc
Christmas presents for the family

Millymollymoomoos Thu 10-Jan-13 20:54:42

My 3 children get £33.33 a month each, simply because it makes my accounting easier to budget for £100 a month for pocket money. I pay for their phones, at £10 a month each, but they pay for any excess. I also pay for their clothes, haircuts, and toiletries. The pocket is theirs to spend entirely as they choose. It works well for us as we don't have to scour the house for change for cinema trips, swimming money etc, as they can use their cash cards. It has also taught them to save for a couple of months if they want something more expensive.

comingintomyown Sat 12-Jan-13 08:50:49

16 yo DS gets £80 per month and DD 13 gets £60. I still pay for their phones and pretty much everything else.

They are expected to pay for all socialising, food in town and shoes and clothes which arent needed but wanted.

I think this is a generous enough amount that I never feel bad or cave in when hints for money for xyz come my way !

For this they have chores to do but I need to be more on it with asking them to do things.

BackforGood Sat 12-Jan-13 19:33:45

My ds is 16 (in L6th).
We give him £16 a month. He's always been responsible for his phone bills since he had a phone on going to secondary school.
We pay 'subs' for things he goes to, and clothes he needs. We pay for his dinner money (he can walk to school, and most of his friends houses, but we're also happy to give lifts quite a bit). We pay when he goes on camp.
He has chosen then to get a job, well, 2 jobs now, to supplement his income. Out of that he buys impractical extra clothes, concert tickets, fayres, entertainment, CDs or anything else he wants to.
Money (from us) isn't directly linked to specific jobs but he is expected to contribute in the house as all our dcs are, and always have been.

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