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15 yr old DD, Excluded from school 2 days, refusing to speak about it

7 replies

Cerise23 · 03/12/2012 23:07

My 15 yr old DD has just been excluded from school for 2 days, for being caught using her mobile phone in school to take photos, then posted on Twitter. Several girls in same boat. Exclusion seemed extreme, but it is the 2nd time it's happened. Spent much time discussing reasons she did it ('everyone else does it'), trying to support both her and the school's hard line view on this. Have re-inclusion interview tomorrow so attempted to discuss with her what is an appropriate way to show remorse etc. However she became completely grumpy, wouldn't speak, walked out of the house (came back in 15/20 mins) went back to her room, cried, still refusing to speak. Have explained we are attempting to help her back in to school without creating further problems. It's so frustrating she won't take the slightest bit of advice/support. Where have we gone wrong??

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Alonglongway · 04/12/2012 00:19

I have a 15 yr old too. They are not very good at finding themselves in the wrong.

What did she photograph?

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beelights · 04/12/2012 12:32

Doesn't sound like you have done anything wrong. She's just had it in the neck from school and is a bit overwhelmed and emotional. And agree with Along too. By the time you read this though you will have had the re-inclusion interview and hopefully all is a bit calmer...
Sounds a little harsh to exclude for taking pics, but as Along says, depends what of.

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mummytime · 04/12/2012 13:01

I don' think its over the top BTW. It is a child protection issue.
And if you think I'm extreme two year 9's from my DCs school were interviewed last week over photos which had been texted around. If the photos had been taken on school premises (girls toilets?) the school could have been prosecuted.

Have you taken away her mobile? Is there another adult she could talk to?

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Cerise23 · 04/12/2012 22:01

Photos were not too bad - just of other pupils doing amusing things, but posted online without their permission. It's unacceptable and insensitive. Had re-inclusion interview and she behaved suitably apologetically. Phone had been confiscated by school for a week anyway, she gets it back till tomorrow, She will have to hand it in every day and I will take it off her by 9pm every night. Conversation has started back a little, but if i mention the incident she just clams up. Thanks for the points that she is a bit overwhelmed & emotional and not good at accepting she is wrong. I won't talk about it any more, School has offered to get in a Counsellor to have a heart to heart with her, which she & I agreed to. I'm sure it will blow over, but heavens it's turning me rapidly grey!

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mummytime · 04/12/2012 22:55

Its good she is getting counselling, and the schools seems to have responded firmly but proportionally. Which is great.

Teenagers will do things to turn us grey.

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Alonglongway · 04/12/2012 23:50

She might just feel mortified that she got caught out like this. They see themselves as hugely savvy on everything related to social media.

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Cerise23 · 05/12/2012 16:38

i agree that she is likely to be very embarrassed about this whole thing. She is easily embarrassed by anything 'uncool'. I've come to the conclusions that it's best to not quiz her any more about it all - just follow through with the agreed sanctions but move on and talk about something else. She started talking to me when I asked who Rob Kardashian is! Anything to get the communication flowing again. Thanks so much for the comments and tips.