Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

1 2 3 4

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Been reported to Social Services

93 replies

misstrunchball · 04/10/2012 21:45

Hi - I hope this is in the right place.

My DD1 15 (16 in December) dances to the extent that she now takes part in a Burlesque class. This class is run by a friend of mine so I have seen the stuff they do and therefore was quite happy for her to join. She wants to be a dancer so, I feel, needs to experience all sorts of dance genres. She also takes another dance class and does disco, rock and roll, latin, tap, ballet and has also qualified for Grand Finals at Guildford in the next couple of weeks. She is also doing a dance GCSE at school (as you can see she has a passion for dancing).

Anyway, today I had a phone call from Social Care who had received an anonymous phone call to say my daughter is taking part in these Burlesque classes and it isn't appropriate for a child of 15 and that she is doing it behind her parents' back.

I told them that I was aware she was taking part as I had to sign a permission slip as she was under 16 and to my mind there was no risk to her by doing so. The social worker was concerned due to the risqué nature of the costumes so I assured her they were no more risqué than what she wears in her other dancing classes (leotard and tights) and shows (last year she was in a babydoll tap dancing to 'does your mama know'!!)

I feel, unfortunately, that it is not my daughter they are concerned about but have a vendetta against the lady who runs the classes (I did tell her this) but am worried that as it has been brought to the attention of Social Care that I will receive further phone calls in future.

Is there anybody out there who has knowledge of how these people work (stupid question I know!!) and should I be concerned for the future. I did tell her that she would be 16 in 3 months time and could quite easily have gone behind my back but didn't......

OP posts:

Report

LFCisTarkaDahl · 04/10/2012 21:52

In a babydoll outfit?!?

Are you serious? Do you not think that is over sexualising?

Even at 16 I wouldn't encourage this. And the song 'does your mama kniw' in a babydoll outfit - it sounds so hideously sexually inappropriate.

You're really not selling it well, please explain more.

margerykemp · 04/10/2012 21:53

Your 15 year old is training to be a stripper and you don't see the problem!! FFS!

LFCisTarkaDahl · 04/10/2012 21:55

I went to a Burlesque show last year and it was very, very sexual (at Cafe de Paris) - I'm really not convinced it's that appropriate for a 16 year old.

Just cos it's legal doesn't make it ok - Sam Fox was 16 when she was doing topless for the Sun - that makes me feel very uncomfortable.

lisad123 · 04/10/2012 21:58

Sorry I agree, very sexual and seriously wouldn't be happy for a teen to do it.

omfgkillmenow · 04/10/2012 21:59

I wouldn't have a problem with it, its a costume a lot of 15 yo go clubbing and get drunk wearing less. And social care have proper vulnerable children to deal with, they will see this as a piece o pish waste of their time and resources, unfortunately they have to follow up these phone calls. Social services aren't stupid, so don't worry and don't listen to abuse on here either.

lilolilmanchester · 04/10/2012 21:59

my daughter is an extremely talented dancer, but definitely would draw the line at burlesque, sorry don't think it's appropriate.... but I feel calling SS in, if that is the only reason, is overkill perhaps.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 04/10/2012 22:02

Who let's a 15 year old go clubbing and get drunk?

Most parents don't allow that. It's 18 for nightclubs and it's a fuck of a lot harder to get into nightclubs without ID than when I was 18, 22 years ago.

AnyFucker · 04/10/2012 22:04

oh, FGS

I would have reported you too, you silly woman

AnyFucker · 04/10/2012 22:05

I bet you take her for a brazilian with you too, don't you ?

scarlettsmummy2 · 04/10/2012 22:10

Post this in the feminist section and see what response you get! What positive benefit will your daughter get in learning burlesque dancing? How will this further her career unless you want her to be a slightly more upmarket stripper? Wise up.

misstrunchball · 04/10/2012 22:10

My original question was not about how appropriate the type of dancing is but about how concerned should I be that Social Care have got my DD1 and I involved just cos someone has a vendetta towards the dance teacher (I know this to be true as it has been going on for years but now I have been dragged into it)

She is not taking any clothes off when dancing burlesque and the dances she has been in have all been very tasteful (would love to be Cafe de Paris standard but not yet).

The tap dance was in a baby doll with a leotard underneath and she was the youngest at 15 with the other girls being 16 + 17 - this was her normal dance show which has children from the age of 3 taking part.

She is not learning to be a stripper (if she were I would send her to pole dancing classes as well!!) but wants to dance to the extent that after A-levels wants to go to dance college. I really have no problem with the Burlesque and feel that as her mother I should back her up in any decisions she makes with regard to dancing. If I felt it was inappropriate, trust me, she wouldn't be going. As I said she does competitions and wears only a leotard and tights for those so the Burlesque dancing is overdressed compared to that.

She could quite legally do it in 2 months time without my knowledge so feel it's better that I know and am happy about it.

OP posts:

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 04/10/2012 22:12

I was dancing in a chorus line in VERY little aged 15....in guess what...Bugsy Malone. Its fine.

misstrunchball · 04/10/2012 22:13

AF - she has never had a brazilian but does have spray tans - not for Burlesque but for her dance competitions where it is expected. The costumes there would also put any Burlesque dancer to shame and they are being worn by children from the age of 6 upwards.....

omfg - thank you

OP posts:

NorksAreMessy · 04/10/2012 22:14

scarlettsmummy2 · 04/10/2012 22:15

Social services don't like it, many people on here have said it isn't a nice thing to do, so why would you not take heed of what others are saying and encourage her to focus her energies on something that will benefit her long term. You will get a reputation yourself of being a bit silly. Be her mother and stop trying to be cool.

mrscumberbatch · 04/10/2012 22:17

FYI: Burlesque is NOT the same as stripping. I am a huge fan but this is totally inappropriate for her age.

Burlesque is a highly sexualised performance. No matter how much clothes they have on.

Grim.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 04/10/2012 22:18

No, it's not fine and it's not the same. Bugsy Malone is a musical where people wear costume, burlesque is designed to be extremely sexual.
OP, I was not telling you about Cafe de Paris so you could think it was great. It's probably the most sexual thing I've ever seen - the audience were entirely whipped up into massive sexual excitement - it is not in any way tame and it is NOT about how little you're wearing.

Its about teasing and building sexual excitement - and that's what makes it inappropriate, not the clothes.

mrscumberbatch · 04/10/2012 22:18

And to answer your OP: I'd be very concerned that SS have gotten involved. It shows a real lapse of judgement on your part.

KillerRack · 04/10/2012 22:22

Is there anybody a similar age to her in the same group?

not appropriate but Social Services? I'm more :O that someone has wasted their time with this.

Tbh a skin tight, high 'bare skimming fanny' leotard that little girls wear are far more inappropriate that a babydoll. there are many 15 year old who walk down the street in less that tbh.

MrsBonkers · 04/10/2012 22:22

I thought Burlesque was about celebrating a womans body, not stripping?
Great way for a 15 yr old to love herself and have a positive body image. Wish I'd done something like that.

As for the question, I have no idea. Sorry.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 04/10/2012 22:22

As a foster carer who (obviously) has a lot to do with social services - if I allowed dd to do that she would be removed from my care, I would probably be questioned under caution for child endangerment following that, then I would not be allowed to work with children.

But of course that's me, probably nothing will happen to you under a system so stretched.

That should probably make people sad.

AnyFucker · 04/10/2012 22:23

What she says goes, does it, OP ?

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

KillerRack · 04/10/2012 22:25

Child endangerment? jesus christ ,

half the teens off big fat gypsy should have life sentences with that attitude. Or generally from what I see most parents who allow their teen girls to wander round like trainee prostitutes.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 04/10/2012 22:26

It's NOT what you wear, it's the AIM of the dances - to build sexual excitement.

Whitecherry · 04/10/2012 22:27

I wouldn't have a problem either......but then I guess I'm biased!

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.