Been reported to Social Services

(94 Posts)
misstrunchball Thu 04-Oct-12 21:45:35

Hi - I hope this is in the right place.

My DD1 15 (16 in December) dances to the extent that she now takes part in a Burlesque class. This class is run by a friend of mine so I have seen the stuff they do and therefore was quite happy for her to join. She wants to be a dancer so, I feel, needs to experience all sorts of dance genres. She also takes another dance class and does disco, rock and roll, latin, tap, ballet and has also qualified for Grand Finals at Guildford in the next couple of weeks. She is also doing a dance GCSE at school (as you can see she has a passion for dancing).

Anyway, today I had a phone call from Social Care who had received an anonymous phone call to say my daughter is taking part in these Burlesque classes and it isn't appropriate for a child of 15 and that she is doing it behind her parents' back.

I told them that I was aware she was taking part as I had to sign a permission slip as she was under 16 and to my mind there was no risk to her by doing so. The social worker was concerned due to the risqué nature of the costumes so I assured her they were no more risqué than what she wears in her other dancing classes (leotard and tights) and shows (last year she was in a babydoll tap dancing to 'does your mama know'!!)

I feel, unfortunately, that it is not my daughter they are concerned about but have a vendetta against the lady who runs the classes (I did tell her this) but am worried that as it has been brought to the attention of Social Care that I will receive further phone calls in future.

Is there anybody out there who has knowledge of how these people work (stupid question I know!!) and should I be concerned for the future. I did tell her that she would be 16 in 3 months time and could quite easily have gone behind my back but didn't......

Whitecherry Thu 04-Oct-12 22:27:11

I wouldn't have a problem either......but then I guess I'm biased!

AnyFucker Thu 04-Oct-12 22:28:14

OP, what are you going to say to SS ?

Are you going to use some of the quotes from this thread about how it's great that a 15yo girl should learn to love her body by performing burlesque ?

good luck with that

Agree, the clothes are not what makes it sexual. Dita von Teese (I think) has a routine which involves putting clothes on.

KillerRack Thu 04-Oct-12 22:28:34

Does she perform publicly though or just in a hall with women?

I would have an issue with an under 16 year old performing publicly , possibly illegal actually.

mrs bonkers would you care to elaborate shock

FizzyLaces Thu 04-Oct-12 22:30:04

OMG NO, my DD is a dancer, very dedicated and the same age as yours. She really should not be doing burlesque at that age!

KillerRack Thu 04-Oct-12 22:30:50

Anyfucker I think you need to ease off a little bit.

she's obviously stressed atm.

Devora Thu 04-Oct-12 22:31:41

Well, it's hard to really have a view on this without knowing for sure what goes on in that class. For me it's not about the outfit, but that burlesque is a camp sexualised performance that I wouldn't see as appropriate for a 15 year old. MrsBonkers, I don't think Burlesque is about celebrating a woman's body in a way that I would see as particularly positive - though it has given itself very good PR along that line - and though it's way better than stripping, there are strong links to stripping.

Of course it's possible that this is burlesque lite, a kind of camp retro performance that doesn't involve much in the way of sexual innuendo or nudity.

Generally, my stance is prepared to be open to persuasion, but at this point eyebrows slightly raised.

Helpyourself Thu 04-Oct-12 22:31:47

biscuit
Everything I've seen on tv tonight has made me very depressed about the world my teenage daughters are growing up in.
And this is the cherry on the cake.
Really OP, can you not see that this is a massively inappropriate activity for your daughter?

I'm going to hide this thread after ive replied op, as the judgmental bitchy replies you've received are making me unnaturally angry, but suffice to say, you probably won't hear from ss about this again, they just have to follow up all complaints they receive. Burlesque is a very artistic form of dance, and I for one, would have no problems with a 15yo of mine learning it if she was a serious dancer (although I only have sons). I was a dancer myself, my first musical theatre lead role was in the musical Chicago when I was 15. My whole family, including my 75yr old gran, and my minister came to watch it and were all very very proud of me!

AnyFucker Thu 04-Oct-12 22:36:58

who is stressed, KR ?

Op seems very happy with letting her daughter make choices that are totally inappropriate

and you need to cop on, as does she

futuredream Thu 04-Oct-12 22:37:35

That is absolutely shocking , HH- no notice at all. Don't know what
to saysad-hugs

Hope hand calming down , AS... good advice fromm HH as ever , & splint
sounds sensible

Busy & slareepy here- got some ripe tomatoes & spikey cucumber muched by slugsshock Finally gort a runner beansmile

How did you know AS that's how I'm feeling - or not yet , but will be if don't get better care grin... will write to GP & consultant outlining physical difficulties < insufferable >

Wish I could wave a wand to make days easier , HH
Peaceful days to us allxxx <sprinkles sleepy dust on thread dc >

Lol @ judgemental and bitchy. I think you meant to say 'correct'.

Helpyourself, I worry about this too. I know that at 15/16 it's fun to push boundaries etc but for people to not bat an eyelid at it is just sad.

I enjoy burlesque, and as an adult think it can be fun and humourous. For a teenager though, they are so impressionable, if she's serious about dancing I'd be steering her towards a class that will add to her CV not detract from it.

futuredream Thu 04-Oct-12 22:38:14

Sorry , wrong threadblush

AnyFucker Thu 04-Oct-12 22:38:54

hmm

Lmfao Futuredream. Excellent derail. Sorry about your slugs.

AnyFucker Thu 04-Oct-12 22:44:36

grin

NellyJob Thu 04-Oct-12 22:46:44

I was dancing in a chorus line in VERY little aged 15....in guess what...Bugsy Malone. Its fine
do you live in Bath?

KillerRack Thu 04-Oct-12 22:50:05

and you need to cop on, as does she

I need to cop on? what rubbish.

She must be stressed that's why she is posting on here, everyone is entitled to their opinion but this is not the time to behave like a pitbull is all I''m saying.

tittytittyhanghang Thu 04-Oct-12 22:52:21

I dont think SS would take this any further, especially since she is going to be 16 in 3 months time.

Tbh I think that a lot of the replies on here are bitchy and judgemental too. The op asked for advice regarding how SS work not personal views on burlesque dancing.

If your daughter is serious in dance as a career then to learn burlesque (as well as all the others you have mentioned) is just another feather in her cap sts. I didn't read it that your daughter was learning burlesque and so obviously she will go into stripping followed by a career in porn (not that i believe that could happen anyway), but rather she was learning another form of dance.

Had she been younger i would have been hmm but 3 months from her 16th birthday, i think is an age where if your daughter chooses to do this, then it is her decision.

AnyFucker Thu 04-Oct-12 22:55:11

a pitbull, you say ?

good 'un

AnyFucker Thu 04-Oct-12 22:56:17

hey, I think Jeremy Forrest should get away with it

because Megan was going to be 16 in a few months time

erm, hang on....

AnyFucker Thu 04-Oct-12 22:57:55

You cannot ask for advice on how SS work, and not expect judgement on letting your 15yo daughter do burlesque

the two go hand in hand

SS make judgement calls all the time...that is how they work

piratecat Thu 04-Oct-12 22:59:36

haha future dream

tittytittyhanghang... even at 16, I think it's too young. They're too young to go to a burlesque show so why would they be learning it?

If she went to an interview to do performing arts etc and had 'Burlesque' on her CV's it would have no weighting whatsoever. So to say that it is for her 'career' is a fallacy.

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