I will try not to drip feed, and try to make this short. I was a single parent to my DD now 18yrs. I became a mother very young, and am sure i have made many mistakes. DD was always incredibly bright though seemed to have some social awkwardness and mild dyspraxia. She maintained fairly irregular contact with her father, though his parents kept in very regular contact, some may say they were a little controlling, but I was young, and very glad of the help. I had always dreamt of moving somewhere hot and sunny,and when DD was 11yrs after having 3 mths of counselling i decided that i would take the plunge. It was a very exciting yet nerve racking time. The night before we left my DDs GM let loose a tirade of abuse saying i would regret doing this to her, she would never forgive me and she would get my DD back where she belonged..with her! I was so upset, she had never indicted having a problem with the move, before, and i felt i had a really close relationship with her.
we did move, DD settled very well and made friends, and had a lot of freedom and fun. I strongly encouraged her to maintain contact with her family, and they insisited she stay for most of the holidays in the UK. When DD was 14 she became reluctant to go and spend her holidays there, and understanably wanted to be with her friends here. However she felt she could not explain this to herGM, and it would be left to me, to speak to them. I could tell they thought i was trying to decrease their contact. During this time my DD started failing dramatically at school, became disruptive and rude, and was suspended for poor behaviour. On top of this she started staying out late, sometimes not coming home at all and basically rebelling against me. This culminated in me catching her trying to climb out of her window, after she had been grounded. basically she kicked and hit me and absconded. The police found her 3 days later. During this frantic time, I decided that I was basically crap, had no control over my own child, and felt i was unable to keep her safe. I had threatened that she would have to go and live with her Dad, if she didn't sort herself out. After her violence i booked her flights, and she retuned to the UK. Now, clearly this was soo the wrong thing to do, I am just very bad at parenting. At the time i was devastated and desparate. We maintained contact and she came back for a couple of holidays. During this time GM rang her constantly. As time went on she began to become angry at me, understandably, I have tried to talk to her and explain, but she is now abusive to me. Anyway, now 18 she is coming here next week on holiday to this tiny place that i live in, and refuses to speak to me. I txt her to say if she needs anything call me, but she says she will call the police and take out a restraining order if i go anywhere near her....plus loads of abuse.. i just don't know what to do or if there is anything i can do to repair the damage i have done to our relationship. Sorry, was very long!!
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How to repair damaged relationship with DD??
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botandhothered · 28/08/2012 19:37
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