Hello. Can I come back to MN? Women I need you: I have a teenaGRRRRRRRRR

[WillfSelll]

I am losing my mind.

I have a 13 yo. He is typical, except that he does actually wash, which is a blessing. But we have full on 'Kevins' every day, with extra kicking and punching doors, throwing things across the house, failure to do anything without arsey arguing about every single minute smartarse detail, hollow-eyed whitefaced days of never leaving his room, sticky tissues (argh! ALREADY! No - it's too soon...), 'plague of locust' eating marathons combined with OUTRAGE at the COMPLETE SHITE (like VEGETABLES) his father and I INSIST on buying.

The main issue is me really: I am losing all capacity to manage him alongside his equally stroppy and explosive 7 yo and 4 yo brothers. Needless to say, finding something to do with all of them is a bloody nightmare. But how do I engage the eldest's 'mature' side (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha) to explain that yes, he does have to have different rules from the younger ones because he's, er, older and with extra responsibilities also come extra privileges blah blah blah whatever mum, talk to the hand...

Can I just get drunk until the menopause kicks in properly and wait for it to go really nuclear?

More seriously, how do I de-escalate the aggression levels so the 4yo does not have to flinch in fear most days?

[Sparklingbrook]

Hi Will. I have owned a teenage boy since the end of June. It is pretty much as you describe but no sticky tissues. And DS2 is 10.

He doesn't want to be seen with me making local outings difficult. He doesn't want to do anything with DS2 as he is 'embarassing'.

[ivykaty44]

Get him a packet of nappy sacks - tell him to put the sticky tissues in the nappy ssacks or flush away - but if he doesn't then you will take hem along to his next parents evening. Out of the three choices it is up to him what he decides to choose

Let him fester in his room - it will give you time with your other two dc and more importantly peace

Tell him when you go out of the house together he is to walk 10 paces behind you - as it is really embarassing to be seen with him so could he keep to this at all times, of course if he wants you to buy something for him then he will have to call you on his mobile phone or text.

most of all ignore the small stuff and only worry about drugs and unprotected sex.

what are his friends like?