DD distraught

[Doha]

17 year old daughter has just split up with her BF of 18 months, She is beyond distraught, a decision initially she made but when she changed her mind he felt was for the best. I agree !!!
I don't know what to to. She is shaking and crying, feels like it's the end of the world. I have tried all thre usual things to do and say and l know time will be the healer but what can l do now.
Her head is a mess and her exams start in a week which she really needs to pass.
I want to take her pain away.

[BerryMenlove]

Oh bless her. As you say, time is the only real healer.
I think encouraging her, even when she doesn't always feel in the mood, to see her friends or you take her out for a nice day would probably help. Takes her mind off it (if only a little bit)
*Soppy romcom at the cinema probably out of the question though.

Have you got any stories of your own of previous relationships that went wrong you could relay to her? Explain the emotions you felt and how you eventually overcame it?

[MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay]

It's AWFUL..and there is nothing you can do but be there and supply tissues, hugs and chocolate.

I've been through it twice with my 18 and 19 yr olds and have literally sat up all night holding my sobbing son .. it makes you feel so helpless . You know it WILL pass, but that it doesn't feel like it for your poor DD right now.

Both of mine had their major breakups just before exams too, but in the end it didn't seem to make that much difference..fingers crossed your DD will be able to hold it together on the day.

You have my total empathy..watching our teens go through it and not being able to make it better is one of the worst things about parenting them when they are older:( I DREAD breakups!

[Hassled]

Poor both of you - i went through this with DD and her first true love when she was a bit older and got royally dumped. It's horrible - just keep mopping the tears.

[DazR]

Lots of hand-holding and hugs. Be available to talk whenever it is needed. Try to keep her away from social network sites until exams are over - even more upsetting to see the BF getting on happily without her..... Make sure she has an opportunity to have her girlfriends around for support.

[ChippingInLovesEasterEggs]

No matter how many holes you get in your tongue, try your best not to say things like 'He's not worth crying over' 'You can do better' 'He's not good enough for you' 'You are young, you will get over it' etc as they will just make her anti you and defensive of him :(

All you can do really is be there for her, physically & emotionally. Stay around the house as much as you can, ask her if she wants to go with you when you go out (even if it's just the supermarket).

Give her a few days and trust her to know she needs to pull herself together for her exams.

It's shit isn't it - your heart just breaks for them :( x

[doormat]

aww bless her xxx

[noddyholder]

I think at a time like this so close to exams a few white lies is acceptable. Maybe tell her exam pressure often affects relationships and maybe she should focus on her exams and deal with this afterwards. The afterwards may be no different but she will have at least got through.Such a difficult age though it seems like the end of the world