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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Poor D14 Crying and I cant make it better

19 replies

doinmummy · 03/05/2012 20:57

My Dd14 has started to get stretch marks on her thighs,lower legs and now she has just found some on her tummy and back. She is absolutely not over weight. She wants to have laser treatment which I know will not work. i have bought every cream under the sun but they haven't helped.
She's so upset and I can hear her crying. She is angry with me because she says I'm not doing anything to make them go away. and wont let me cuddle her.
I'll take her to GP but am dreading her reaction to being told there's no cure.

OP posts:

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AThingInYourLife · 03/05/2012 20:59

You can get stretch marks from growing, not just from getting fat.

In fact loads of people do. They will fade.

Poor kid :(

pinkteddy · 03/05/2012 21:00

Its probably her skin reacting to a growth spurt. I had them as a teenager and I wasn't overweight either. They have faded though. Take her to your GP, she might take it better from a professional. And you never know they might be able to suggest something. Poor dd, tell her she is beautiful.

doinmummy · 03/05/2012 21:05

I always tell her how beautiful she is but she's so upset. They are from growth spurts...she is tall. They are not red just white but I can understand why she feels upset. I hate this bit of being a parent when there are some things you just cant fix.

OP posts:

LadyWidmerpool · 03/05/2012 21:18

This happened to me. Within a couple of years they were barely noticeable. Try to be matter of fact and don't treat it like it's a big deal (I don't mean be unsympathetic) - it's bad luck but they will fade and it isn't the end of the world. If you think of them as terrible ugly things with no cure DD will pick up on this. If you can be sympathetic but matter of fact this will help her put them in perspective.

Get0rfMoiLand · 03/05/2012 21:29

Bless her. DD had a growth spurt at 14 and she has some on her thighs (she is also tall, 6 feet like me!). They really have faded into oblivion (she is now 16). Please reasssure your dd that they will fade a lot over time. I think it is different from pregnancy stretchmarks - young girls skin is more elastic I think.

doinmummy · 03/05/2012 21:30

Thank you Lady. I haven't made a big deal about it, am just quietly upset on her behalf. I have said I'll take her to GP's. I've said that I can hardly see them which I cant but just get a stroppy " well they're not on your body are they " .
I've said I'm doing what i can by going to GP and have left it at that.

OP posts:

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 04/05/2012 15:52

Both of my DDs have them too.. purely from rapid growth as they are both slim. One has them on her boobs (which went from nothing to a G cup overnight) and the other on her thighs, base of her back. They came at about 14 but faded so are barely visible now (aged 18 and 20). It's pretty common unfortunately;:/

Annunziata · 04/05/2012 15:54

Your poor DD. Is she stressed? Mine always gets very body-conscious around exam times.

LineRunner · 04/05/2012 15:54

Oh wow, thank you for this thread. It is very reassuring to know that they are (a) normal; and (b) will fade with time.

EssentialFattyAcid · 04/05/2012 16:00

ITs definitely common - happened to me and I was slim. I'm not sure that mine faded really - they were more of an annoyance than a huge issue for me though.

ragged · 04/05/2012 16:04

I've got loads from adolescence, they never bothered me at all. None from pregnancy, though, if that's any consolation. Sorry to hear your DD is taking it badly.

SecondRow · 04/05/2012 16:07

I had them on the tops of my thighs as a teenager, they were quite purple at the time actually and very visible when I was in a swimsuit but funnily enough I had forgotten all about them until I saw this thread just now. I was also tall as a teenager and never overweight, it's just one of those things.

Can't really remember what age I was when they went, I presume it was gradual. Actually it was only the colour that went - they are kind of still there but neutral in colour now.

Incidentally I never got a single stretchmark in pregnancy, despite my earlier experience... dunno if that will be any consolation to your daughter?!

SecondRow · 04/05/2012 16:08

Oh X post :)

RoxyRobin · 04/05/2012 16:09

Yes, I'd say it's definitely a growth spurt. DH has got them at the base of his spine, but you have to look closely to see them. Of course, being male he's never been bothered about them. But your poor DD is bound to be upset about them at fourteen - it's such a sensitive age, and there is no reassuring them.

One thing, though, is that something else is likely come along for her to worry about instead, and the stretch mark issue will recede - not very comforting I know!

QuickLookBusy · 04/05/2012 16:13

My DD has them on her boobs. She has just started to use Bio Oil after a friend recommended it.

I wonder if that would be worth a try, at least she would feel she was trying something.

lynniep · 04/05/2012 16:19

Poor kid. I got them on my hips when I was 10. I had no idea what they were until at least a decade later because I wouldnt have dared tell anyone. at least she has you (even if she doesnt feel like that right now) I agree - buy her some cream so at least she feels like you're trying to help (yes you'll probably get the brunt of it if that doesn help a bit as well)

WelshCerys · 04/05/2012 17:27

I posted recently(ish) about my son's stretch marks - which some idiot ortho consultant decided to write to my GP about. Thank you all who responded - I took your advice and got Bio Oil (ordered from Amazon - really not expensive).

A couple of applications (and time) - and the marks which were really pronounced have faded considerably. My guess is that they'll go altogether ...
They were the classic stretch marks, after a real growth spurt - which, incidentally, also led to sore knees - it all fits.

Tell DD not to worry - tell her how lovely she is - and try to reassure her that these are most likely a phase in her growing up - and how they grow up at that age. (Try the bio oil?)

Take care, too, of yourself -

NatashaBee · 04/05/2012 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theas18 · 04/05/2012 17:34

They happen. There isn't any "cure" don't let anyone fool her or that your money. They are a fact of normal teen growth. Pretty much everyone has them- think, fat, boys (especially boys growing like weeds - all up their backs) girls, boobs/bums every where,

Bit like acne, but at least there is a treatment for that.

I suspect it's one of those teen trauma things that you just have to let pass, but is she OK generally? why has this become such a big thing for her?? What can she'you do to bring the happies back?

I think every teen has something about the way they look that upsets them. With my DD2 its her height (or lack of it she's just 5 foot). Not a thing can we do about it. BUT we accept the "it's not fair" and help her to dress as she wishes and look fantastic but appropriate (not easy, she's 12yrs old, busty, curvy and 5 foot tall) she's found "geek chic" and it's great.

Why does a minor thing that is under your clothes most of the time upset her so very much- can she tell you?

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