This is my first thread as I've just joined to search for advice/support. My 15 ds pfb has recently begun a relationship with a 13 yr old girl. We have met her and she seems pleasant.
My first concern was that this relationship seemed to be all-encompassing at the detriment to just about everything else. I'm stunned at how much time can be spent on text/bbm/fb/xbox/skype all at the same time in spite of us making her welcome in our home!
Homework is mainly rhetoric and no effort and I yesterday discovered that he'd been on bbm whilst supposedly doing homework after several attempts to get him to do it. So I took his phone and in front of him scrolled through the messages to make the point of how long/how many messages he'd done whilst claiming to be homeworking.
Whilst doing this I found sexual content (both sent and reciprocated) alluding to some heavy petting that had taken place. He admitted that the petting was real and not virtual.
We had realised that they had entered a 'snogging' phase and had spoken to him about respect, risk and considering that his gf is only 13 and laid down some groundrules e.g. not in his bedroom when she visits and not in the house when no one else is in. He had assured us that he 'wasn't ready for anything like that'.
My reaction has been to remove all social media (mainly to give him, myself and his dad some time to think). We allowed a supervised bm message to his gf to explain that they'd been found out and that he wouldn't be available t talk to for at least 24 hours. We have told him we would sit down and discuss this evening to give us all thinking time.
Am I under/over reacting? I want to keep our communication open but want him to find a balance and I do feel conned, let-down and terrified as to where this all might lead or what may happen if her messages are discovered (or indeed if she shows someone)
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'first' girlfriend - rapidly relationship!
5 replies
lovelyladylumps · 04/04/2012 08:49
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