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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

WWYD Advice Needed Re Teenage Friendships

3 replies

conkercon · 24/02/2012 12:37

I just need some advice really and I note that this is a really busy message board hence posting here.

My DS who is 14 has always had quite a wide circle of friends. We live in a small town and many of the group went to primary school together and mums are either friends or know one another enough to at least pass the time of day.

While there are lots of them obviously some smaller groups form as well and there are three or four boys who will always be the ones I give lifts home to from footie, parties, cinema, or the ones that come around to play x box or hang out. All of them very polite to me and never fail to say please and thank you. They have their moments I am sure none of them are angels (in fact I know they are not as my DS is very open with me and tells me most things) but all in all a good group. There are a couple that are I guess my favourites as I have known them since pretty much toddler stage to now and they chat away to me, not in grunts like some of the wider group of friends.

Since they were at primary school there have alwasy been falling outs, nothing major but by god these boys can bitch as well when they have a mind to. I have heard them all bitching about someone else in my time including my son. They are all the same and my DS is no better nor any worse then any of them.

Last week my DS fell out with one of them A who has been a very long term friend over something stupid on x box, I fail to even understand it. No need to get involved because it happens all the time and they fall out one minute and are sleeping at each others houses the next. I am sure that is what would have happened if another boy B who so sucks up to A had not got involved and created a big drama. B told A plus another boy that my DS had said XYand Z aobut them etc etc. But they have all said XY and Z about each other. Unfortunely it iwas half term and so it festered on until they are now all back at school.

Boy B has now been telling lies about my DS, calling him all the names under the sun, told a black friend of theirs that my DS is racist (so not true it is laughable) and is gradually becoming a nightmare. He is twice the size of my DS and attacked my DS on the school bus yesterday and knocked his phone out of his hand. Has threatened to beat him up and it just seems to be getting worse every day.

As a mum I want to protect my son and now that it is getting violent I was either going to speak to the school or Boy B's mum my son does not want me to as he says it just makes him look a wuss.

They are also in the same football team outside of school but boy B would not dare do anything because my son has been there a lot longer and I am always there. Plus our coach would not stand for it. But it just makes it all so difficult for my son.

Also, now the weather is getting better a big group of them go to the local park to play footie but if boys A and B are there then it is again difficult for my son because boy B is so mouthy and threatening. I think boy A would be fine by now if it had not been for boy B pushing it.

Sorry for this being so long but I did not want to drip feed and I am trying to figure out what to do for the best. Should I just leave it and say right out of it or do I now need to get involved regardless because of the threats. My boy is very small for his age as well.

Thanks to anyone who can offer some advice.

OP posts:
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ClothesOfSand · 24/02/2012 12:43

MY DS is not being bullied but is very similar to your DS's situation- 3 close friends, all bigger than him, xbox, minor fallings out then make up etc. I would not speak directly to the other parent but I would speak to the school. It does not make him look weak. If there is any actual violence, then speak to the police. If it was happening to an adult at work they would speak to their manager and if there was violence, to the police. It shouldn't be any different just because they are teenagers at school.

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LeBOF · 24/02/2012 12:44

This is a busy board because all the morons post here. If you want advice from experienced posters of teenagers, I would go the the section in parenting. Everybody wants a quick reply, but if they all posted here, nobody would get one.

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Maryz · 25/02/2012 00:01

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