Is it normal for a teenage girl to be so negative?

[kaira]

My DD is nearly 15 and always putting herself down, she is taking mocks at the mo and constantly says she will fail or won't do well , she is very bright and gets As and Bs in all but one subject. I can honestly say we have always given her praise and encouragement for everything she does with no pressure, we have never told her she is stupid, no good or to try harder. Is this just a normal teenage thing? Any similar experiences.

[ValarMorghulis]

It is in my experience.

Sadly self esteem is probably the lowest it is ever likely to be at this age.

[kaira]

I suppose things can only get better then. It's frustrating because I see her feeling bad and can't seem to make her feel better.

[PenneyAnne]

Same here Kaira,DD nearly 15 also,and everything is "I know I will fail, I know I wont be able to do it,I know so-and-so will do much better than me etc". She too is very bright and all we have ever done is encourage,praise etc. I am constantly saying "dont be so negative,why on earth are you always putting yourself down etc?" I truly dont understand it! The only thing with DD is since going to secondary school she no longer has any interest in after-school sports,drama etc,doesnt like facebook just likes to potter and do her own thing so I worry that she is a bit too insular etc and that this is not helping her confidence.She does seem to have plenty of friends etc at school and is very happy there.I do not know what the answer is-just keep encouraging,praising etc.It is good to know she is not the only one.

[bigTillyMint]

DD is the same and she's not 13 yet.

She is also bright, but says she has "failed" if she makes the odd mistake and always compares herself unfavourably to everyone else.

[kaira]

Thanks for posting it helps to hear others experiences. It is interesting that it seems to affect the girls who are doing well despite their worries. The teachers do push the bright ones more I think, they have moved her expected grades up again which must seem like another hurdle to get over. My DD also compares herself to others which I tell her not to. You are right PenneyAnne we should keep on with the praise and encouragement and hope it will pass.

[ivykaty44]

is she preparing herself and you in case she doesn't do so well in an exam etc - so that she can say, well i told you I was going to do badly?