I think i made a mistake trying to *support* her ,

[mrsjay]

bit of a rant but it has been really bothering me the last few days dd1 is in college but staying at home she is building up to do a degree , we said we would happily pay her travel etc as long as she got a job to help herself which she did , we didnt think a loan was the way to go at the moment , in the last week or so all she has gone on about is loan this loan that i could so X YZ if i had a loan , Im fuming and maybe we shouldve let her get on with it and let her see what its like living on her own paying bill s etc , we bought and insured her car but it still isnt good enough for her she wants more which we arnt prepared to give in to , I have created a spoiled monster

[Bossybritches22]

Oh mrsjay haven't we all in a way? Trying to get a balance between supporting & spoiling is SO hard!

Would it help if you sat her down and actually spelt out the pros & cons with her get her to do a budget plan of costs, etc. She is only thinking in terms of "ooh lovely big lump of wonga to spend" when she thinks loan.

If she rolls her eyes then say "THAT attitude my darling is why we are NOT helping with loan"

good luck,remember a mother's place is in the wrong!

[Svrider]

I don't think you've created a spoilt monster I think you've created a teenager!
Is she grateful for the car and insurance?
The food and lodging and heat and electric
etc will only be appreciated once she leaves home ( sorry)
Stick to what you've decided, this too will pass

[mrsjay]

thanks Bossy yes it is the wonga she is thinking about she got a big pay from christmas and it has sent her dizzy amazon is her friend sigh she started to get the hump last night when i suggested she picked her lunch for the week up at work and off she went , I think i will have a sit down budget planning with her and wait for the sighs and eye rolling ,

[mrsjay]

yes she is grateful for her car and insurance i wil give her that svrider i thought i was past all the teen rubbish she is almost 19

[Svrider]

Not sure if this would help, but my mum got my dads wages and sat on the bed with me
She then put the money into little piles for Mortgage, shopping, electric for the week
It suddenly clicked for me about budgeting and saving

[Bossybritches22]

svrider great bit of teaching from your mum! Some times kids need to see it in actual piles of money to make it click!

mrsjay Try this budget planner with her -various options & good bits of advice.

[mrsjay]

thanks ladies i am going to try and help her budget her next pay day she hasnt mentioned it for a few days so maybe she has calmed down about it ,