I am the very concerned father of a 16 year old girl, L. who lives with her Mum, her step Dad and older sister nearby. My daughter's Mum has had to go abroad to look after her ailing father, who has now died and is due to return home on Monday. L. has been associating with a girl friend (also 16) who stays out without consent for prolonged periods of time, recently this friend has gone missing. The police were contacted; L's friend has been in text contact with her mother to inform her that she is staying with her boyfriend. Yesterday L. asked her stepdad (with whom I have a good relationship) if she could stay at her girl friend's house for the night. He deferred to me and I granted her permission. I tried phoning the girl friend's mother - she would not pick up until the morning. L's girl friend told me that L. had not spent the night there. This afternoon, L's older sister made contact with her via Facebook and phone and she said that actually she had spent the night with her boyfriend. On a previous occasion, when L. and I had had a disagreement about nights out, she simply left her Mum's house and went missing for 3 days - including 1 school day. I have had meetings with L's deputy head to discuss strategy. L. is very bright with predicted GCSE grades of A* and A's, but she doesn't want to go to university and wants to pursue Btec instead. L's education is not the primary concern, but her safety is. I am at my wits end as I still do not know where she is or with whom. I want my daughter to have privacy - but not at the expense of her safety or her family's integrity. In this liberal world we have created for our families and society in general - as a reaction to our own parent's stronger disciplinarian principles things have gone badly wrong. Any hints and tips would be much appreciated.
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