what can i do?!!!!! 13yo had some drink last night!

[izzybiz]

my DS 13 at x-mas, had a mate to stay last night, they went to a youth club then came back and went straight to bed.
i later went up to tell them to be quiet, and could smell booze as soon as i opened the door.
i got them both downstairs and they denied all charges! they were slurring their words and in the end they told me they had had "a bit of wine" that a friend had given them earlier.
i dont belive them but what can i do? i will phone the other boys mum in a bit to tell her, but apart from grounding DS what else can i do to get through to him?

[lilibet]

I think accept that it's something that they all do and this will not turn him into a raging alky!

We are having much the same with ds1 and smoking at the moment, he is grounded, cannont have access to any money and has been read the riot act about lung cancer etc.

[izzybiz]

i know everybody says this, but i dont remember being like this so early! i did do these things but im sure i was older. oh well, will keep trying to make him in to a decent person.

[lilibet]

I rememeber dd coming home drunk when she was about 14, she tried very hard to look sober but didn't manage it. found out then that she is a crying drunk . The hangover the next morning was something to behold. She is nearly 17 now, and still drinks after all the promises never to do it again, but can't stand the smell of lager!!

I'm sure that she has tried smoking too, but was usually better at covering her tracks than ds1!

[ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas]

Offer him some wine or beer with your family meal this weekend. Get him drinking sensible amounts in front of you. That way, he will be less inclined to go behind your back and drink stupid amounts that could do some damage.

[mymama]

Saw some sort of expert talk about this on telly a while ago. He advised not to allow your children to drink under age as they then tend to drink "safer". He said if they are not allowed, when they go to parties etc they will still drink (as they all do) but they will stop sooner and try to sober up before getting home. They tend to drink a bit more responsibly than writing themselves off and not being able to come home.

[ScummyMummy]

Think Lilibet and LM are spot on. Ground him and give him the lecture but remember experimenting is pretty normal. (Says she who has 6 yr olds and will be profoundly shaken when they start all this I'm sure!)

[izzybiz]

cheers all! he has been on his best behaviour all day bless him, dont know how long that will last, but i will enjoy it while it does. he even tidied his baby sisters toys away this evening!

[motheroftwoboys]

I think I would be more cross with him for being secretive than about the drinking. Experimentation with drink, drugs and smoking is totally normal with teenagers. Remember that once your ds is 14 he can drink wine or beer legally in a restaurant with you with a meal so it is not really a bad thing. We just try and show that drinking is part of normal life. Give them a glass of wine with dinner. Let him a bacardi breezer or similar when he has a mate round for a treat but tell him it must all be out in the open.

[tweeni]

i personally have been allowed to drink at family meals from a young age - probably 5. you may be shocked but really a glass of lambrusco once a week at sunday lunch was not going to kill me!whenever we have been out to family parties or on holiday mum & dad always let me have a few bacardi breezers - obviously not enough to get drunk. i think it has helped me later on cos it takes a hell of a lot to get drunk now and frankly i can't afford it. it means i am a lot safer than most of my friends when we are out.

[samjamsdsd]

hey i think you shouldnt punish him too much to be honest i don't think you should punish him at all. all teenagers try this. its just lesson innit