DS changed the minute he turned 13,he has just turned 15 now.He went from being a quiet,kind boy to a moody,foul mouthed,nasty boy who started to fight with his 6 year old brother and hit him.He has a terrible temper and if he doesnt like what he hears or whatever he will just kick,fist a door etc and swear at you.He still had the gentle side though and he would nearly always apologise for his behaviour to me but never his dad.If his dad spoke to him about his behaviour he would swear like a trooper and sometimes fist him in the arm or maybe kick him.
He had a friend(a neighbour) at the time who also goes to his school who befriended him and slowly took him away from all the other friends he had so eventually he was reliant on this one friend who played mind games with him it seems.
The friend is a controling jealous type of boy who would not speak to him for days if another boy walked home with him etc.This is what started my ds behaviour change,he seemed to think this boy was god and was afraid of upsetting him so ended up a loner reliant on this one boy.
Last summer this boy started to hang around with other boys and only called for my son occasionly and when he did he would be tagging behind like a spare part.Eventually the friend told ds to get lost etc and so my ds stayed in,hardly venturing out.Sometimes as he passed our house with his new friends he would wave at the windows assuming my ds was in looking out at him which he was some of the time.My ds wouldnt talk about it and gets extremely angry if its brought up and walks away with a foul mouthed attitude.
He started to gain a few friends at school and some times goes out with them now but only if they ask him,he will never ask them and therefore they might not bother again for a while.There is no talking to him about it he says mind your f..... business and alot more bad language with a lot of banging and stamping going on,have a 2 year old so dont always persue it,let it go for her sake,too upsetting.
The last 2 months I noticed he started to go to bed after school and wouldnt get up for maybe 2 hours or when he was called for dinner.
Was really worried about him,thought he could be ill or maybe depression which is what I think it might of been now.
A few days ago was going through history on computer and found on a few dates over the last few months he had been looking at some nasty porn sites,and had typed some dirty things into google.Was abit taken back but thought well he is ateenage boy and I am sure this is normal,he has never had a girlfriend and was probably curious.
Anyway had a word with him,got very shy,admitted it was him and ran up to his room.
Went up to talk to him as he was calm and he told me he was made to look these things up by a well known nasty bully at school.
He said this bully(who is a drug taker and wellknown for terrorising kids)picks on him or one of his friends every day.He punches him all over,asks him for money,I noticed his mobile went missing 18 months ago and he never wanted another one..strange I thought.Turns out this bully took it,read his messages and laid into him,some of them would be signed mum with a kiss.
He gets hit in the head,and generally punched,told him dirty disgusting vile things about porn and told him to look them up and come back and tell him about it.
He has several brothers who have been in prison and threatens him with them and tells him he will pull a knife on him.
DS was kicked between the legs last year and teacher rang us as he couldnt console ds who wouldnt stop crying,refused to name the bully.
DS wont report him,no one does as they are all scared and are afraid of the consequences and ds said it would make him worse.
Have promised not to report him,have heard lots of stories about him though he just hits who he likes when he likes and of course has a big gang of boys behind him,have heard boys in the past say he is psycho,this friend I mentioned earlier is now part of that bullys gang.
DS has seemed happier since telling me this and is alot calmer,he will not be in this boys year next year but will I presume still see him around school.
I am upset,blood boiling angry for my ds,and very sad that he has had to deal with this but have promised not to approach school going against every thing I feel fo my ds sake.
What a sad world we live in for one person to enjoy the fear he projects by destroying young boys lifes.Thanks for reading,just wanted to get it off my chest,to let off steam.
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How to deal with this?
9 replies
lucky4 · 08/06/2011 16:24
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