Teen girls falling out..

(37 Posts)
RatherBeOnThePiste Fri 04-Mar-11 14:19:50

Reassure me that this happens and eventually they move on?

DD has fallen out with her friends, and is now suffering the you are such a bitch comments, and lack of a party invite. She has tried to sort this out, but there are two who continue to be so foul.

I just want reassurance and ideas of how best to support her through this.

sad

RatherBeOnThePiste Fri 04-Mar-11 14:41:54

.

GypsyMoth Fri 04-Mar-11 14:44:44

yes,this sounds normal!

usually all friends again soon tho!

RatherBeOnThePiste Fri 04-Mar-11 14:53:15

This was a big row though!
Thank you though for posting I feel pathetically tearful

RatherBeOnThePiste Fri 04-Mar-11 15:23:19

Any more suggestions?!

dexter73 Fri 04-Mar-11 15:49:44

Don't get involved! This happens all the time and they will be best friends again soon and someone else will be the 'bitch'. Don't you just love teenage girls hmm!

Ooopsadaisy Fri 04-Mar-11 15:54:55

It's a big old bitchfest at the moment.

On Monday they had all declared war on each other and today they are all BFF.

FFS.

I say "how was school today?" and all I get is:

"A fell out with B, so C sent a text to D who isn't speaking to A because B doesn't like E and F wouldn't sit with G at lunchtime cos we don't like her hair and H's sister stared at I so she wouldn't walk home with J .........

FFS.

GypsyMoth Fri 04-Mar-11 15:56:17

i would be cautious about msn and facebook....it can get particularly vicious on there....maybe 'lose' internet connection for a bit or something

RatherBeOnThePiste Fri 04-Mar-11 16:02:36

I absolutely will not get hooked into this. It is agony isn't it though? Were we the same?!

It is pathetic but deeply hurtful too.

Lindylou42 Fri 04-Mar-11 16:42:09

I've got three DD's ranging from 16 through to 25 years.
Believe me - when they are teenagers they fall out, bitch - then make friends, then do it all over again.
I have also learnt that you never - ever get the full story - so stay well out of it, they will sort themselves out eventually

RatherBeOnThePiste Fri 04-Mar-11 20:04:40

I am not getting involved!! God no!!It is moving on and I am glad it's the weekend although they are doing school sport tomorrow morning. There are a couple who are stirring matters but the rest have moved on from the row. I think the couple stirring it are enjoying it in a weird way.

Maryz Sat 05-Mar-11 00:00:32

They do enjoy it. They like the drama. There will be two sides, and a load of people in the middle stirring hmm.

The only thing is, that I find that the two very strong characters in dd's group every so often fall out with each other, and then they all get on ok grin. It's only when they are getting on, and attack everyone else, that it gets nasty.

While waiting for it to blow over, can you keep your dd away from facebook? Because that is where it seems to get destructively nasty.

Pumpster Sat 05-Mar-11 00:07:29

I feel your pain! I try and stay out of it but it's hard as dd insists on sharing everything with me... (I sometimes wish she was like I was with my parents-cagey!)
I always try and offer 'devil's advocate' type advice and tell her to treat others how she would like to be treated. I think she can be as bitchy as the rest of them though.
Where friends are concerned boys are sooooo much easier.

RatherBeOnThePiste Sat 05-Mar-11 09:43:09

Yes. I too get a blow by blow a account at the moment. Its now at the two sides stage Still. Hopefully it will cool down over the weekend a bit.

I am grateful for all these wise words of experience they have made me feel a bit tougher!

sharon2609 Sat 05-Mar-11 11:55:42

Lol at oops This is soooooooo common. DD is just coming out the other side of a particularly drawn out feud with group of girls.

I think we suffer more than the kids. I dread it when DD comes home and says A and B aren't speaking to her.
Picked her up from school Fri and saw them all hugging... The relief I felt was overwhelming!!!!!

Agree with avoiding Facebook.

Ooopsadaisy Sat 05-Mar-11 12:34:57

sharon6909 - when does it end?

There's texts going backwards and forwards here deciding whether to go to the cinema this afternoon - in case XYZ is there.

I've told DD that if this doesn't stop then she's not going anyway.

sharon2609 Sat 05-Mar-11 14:23:59

According to the school this evens itself out in about year 9/10.

Dd is so pleased they are now all friends.
I wish I could speak to them all and say if it happens again I will bash their heads together.

i think it's an insecurity thing. They all want to be top dog and it's easier to be nasty to some girls and keep a little clique of girls close to them. All the while they're busy bitching about somone else it means they're safe.

Ooopsadaisy Sat 05-Mar-11 15:55:12

Oh gosh - two years to go then.

It's all so immature isn't it?

DD thinks she's all "it" cos she's at secondary school now but they behave worse than 5 year olds.

DS doesn't help - he likes to wind her up about it.

sharon2609 Sat 05-Mar-11 16:00:01

It really drives me mad.
Now all ex bitchy lot are calling round for dd tomorrow........which is great that they're all mates again...I will have to superglue my mouth together so I dont say anything to them !

Tortington Sat 05-Mar-11 16:02:13

my dd is eighteen and still has these immature spats with people at college- or they do with her - whatever.

Ooopsadaisy Sat 05-Mar-11 16:05:29

I'm sure I didn't carry on like this.

Actually, our group at school was made up of girls and boys so it was probably a less competitive environment.

DD is at a mixed school, but they don't seem to actually mix like I did.

sharon2609 Sat 05-Mar-11 16:17:08

Dont say that custardo I'm all psyched up for it ending next year hmm

RatherBeOnThePiste Sat 05-Mar-11 16:19:35

DD is at mixed school and likes to have friends that are boys but her friendship group as a whole is just girls which is a shame.

DD is in Year 9 and it still seems to be going on strong.
< bangs head against brick wall >

Tortington Sat 05-Mar-11 16:26:14

i thought it would be too and it is in the main but dd had a huge fall out with some girl and them two groups of friends got involved - the texting was going like the clappers and it was such a drama

sharon2609 Sat 05-Mar-11 16:26:50

It is really difficult for us parents to stand by and see our kids upset. I have no real suggestions apart from having a word with the school (which is what I did in the end).

i tried to give my DD suggestions of funny things to say to the bitchy lot in order to break the feud.

(such as going cross eyed at them and saying 'I weeeeely weeeeely wuff you')

DD thought I was mad!!

Deaddei Sat 05-Mar-11 18:15:43

Oh I am glad others share my pain.
Going online makes it a million times worse, especially as they can't spell and misinterpret text speak.
Then it's all lol and bff.

sharon2609 Sat 05-Mar-11 18:41:11

Sometimes it's as stupid as 'she looked at me funny'.

it's awful because it really upsets things at home.

RatherBeOnThePiste Sun 06-Mar-11 10:08:48

Do you think it's about all being in competition?! We are currently pre boyfriends but I can only imagine that will add fuel to the fire! DD has been asked out a couple of times but is just not ready for that so has turned them down. She'd rather have boys as mates.

They'll be arguing / bitching about boys next

< sighs and swigs on gin >

RatherBeOnThePiste Mon 07-Mar-11 17:22:20

you were all right!!!!

Bloody hell. All back to normal today. Un bloody believable. Although DD says she will never quite know what to make of one of her mates. She saw a whole new side to her last week.

Thanks all. Again I say, you were right! Bless you.

doinmummy Mon 07-Mar-11 22:47:45

It's all kicked off here again (I've name changed) DD refusing to go to school tomorrow. I've printed off some bits from face book....really vile. The bitchy group are asking DD friend to dump her and go with them.

RatherBeOnThePiste Tue 08-Mar-11 07:44:24

Doinmummy - that really is appalling. Is your school prepared to tackle cyber bullying like this? Our school is and did so very recently to some Year 11s and wrote to all parents about it.

I am really sorry you have to put up with this in your family.

doinmummy Thu 10-Mar-11 21:07:09

School is writing to all parents. I've had a bit of backlash from the parents already. Bracing myself for a tongue lashing.

RatherBeOnThePiste Thu 10-Mar-11 21:15:17

Good luck with it. Cyber bullying is not acceptable.

mrsmbuble Sun 13-Mar-11 23:42:40

Oh my goodness, I have all this to come as dd is not at secondary school and I am now having second thoughts about sending her to an all girls school.

Does this mean year 7 and year 8 will be just like year 5 ? and maybe year 6 ?

Sharethelove Tue 15-Mar-11 10:56:19

Nightmare! DD was involved in txt battle and had become the main conduit for messages. She came to me on floods and showed me some really bitchy stuff. I told her the messenger ALWAYS get shot.
Hour later she comes back and tells me she's blanket txtd to resign from target position. Calm and peace reign. So proud of her

JoanofArgos Tue 15-Mar-11 11:09:56

my year 9 is suffering a bit at the moment - not actual falling out, just a definite and hurtful 'cooling' towards her, especially from Miss Alpha Girl.

Feel anxious for her as it makes her so unhappy. I keep telling her it will all change back as fast as it changed this way - I just hope it's true.

MummyCaroline99 Tue 11-Jun-13 17:12:08

Its has been really helpful reading this knowing I am not alone. My C is 11 years old and in the final term of year 6 she has been in a friends group for 5 years and this last year they have all been falling out. My daughter and one other girl are the strong ones and my daughter has been on the received end now for the last four weeks it has been torture I have been in tears and lost sleep over it. I had to send her away on a weeks residential trip with the girls not speaking to her which broke me. They have all just been on a camping weekend together with the guides and my daughter tried to make friends with them all and they just ignored her. She asked her guide leader to put her in a separate tent from these girls with complete strangers and she ended up having a lovely weekend with girls she doesn't know, its completely heart-breaking. We have just got the point of my daughter coping with it all and making new friends at School when she sends me a text this afternoon saying one of the girls who has ignored her for four weeks and put her through all this wants to be her friend and is very sorry. Arrrrr, do I ignore it and see what happens and wait for it all to happen again. I had informed the School and the guide leader of all the goings on and they have been really great.

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