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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Depression in teenagers

27 replies

sarva · 23/02/2011 19:06

Hi, My dd(16.2)has just been diagnosed with depression and referred to CAMHS. Feeling in a state of shock. Any one been through this process?

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noscat · 23/02/2011 20:16

Yes I have, you have my sympathy. I've just posted about the same thing, although my dd has been depressed for a few years now. You say you are in a state of shock - did you not have your suspicions?

Wishing you well, I will help as much as I can.

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Maryz · 23/02/2011 20:24

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noscat · 24/02/2011 14:11

how long is it until your daughter's appointment Sarva?

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sarva · 24/02/2011 17:54

Hello,
I didn't actually suspect anything, that's why I'm shocked. I booked GP appt for her as soon as she told me she felt she might be depressed. I went along with her, but had to wait in the waiting room as she said she wanted to go in by herself. She filled in a questionnaire to return 4 days later at another appt. The whole time I was expecting the GP to say she was Ok or just very mildly affected and the next thing she said she had been referred to CAMHS. They will send a letter in the next week or so I think. She says she's been feeling low since last October, but I haven't noticed a change appart from her going out to parties a lot more than she used to, but I thought that was just an age thing. I feel a bit rubbish not to have noticed and just worrying a lot now, but she is not giving much away about how she feels.

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sarva · 24/02/2011 17:56

Forgot to say the GP did mention anti-depressants to her, but said they're not keen to go down that route with under 18's. She said to me that she would quite like AD's. but not sure what she said to GP.

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noscat · 24/02/2011 19:04

wow, that's very quick, which is a good thing, believe me! Don't feel rubbish that you didn't know, some teenagers can be like clams about their emotions where as others are more than happy to spread the drama :) Apart from the partying more often, has she had other changes from her usual behaviour - I don't know if she is still at school or college or at work, but is that suffering at all as a result of her going out more or is she managing to keep it all together?

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sarva · 24/02/2011 19:25

Thanks. Not really that I can think of, but she has been complaining about not sleeping well. She's still at school and some of her teachers have picked up on the fact that she's tired in class and doesn't seem herself. I only found out about this yest and from dd - not the school. They know about the GP/CAHMS stuff and one of the teachers said she was going to call CAHMS to see if she can get an early appt. She has important exams this year, she's just done prelims, but not had results yet. She's normally quite academic, but doesn't seem to have been studying much this year due to partying, rapid social life, facbook etc - again just thought it was all standard teenage stuff.

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noscat · 24/02/2011 19:48

Yes, you're right it is standard teenage stuff. That's the problem with depression in teens - so much of it is also completely "normal" behaviour. My dd's actions were far more extreme and she started displaying unusual (and to my mind not typical) behaviour at a very young age but I was told by CAMHS that she was merely a textbook rebellious teen. The sleeping pattern disruption is a classic example - what teenager likes getting up in the morning! However, for some of them it becomes a real issue - when she's low my dd's sleeping pattern reverses and she sleeps all day and is awake all night. Not healthy. It's interesting that the school were willing to call to try to get an earlier appointment, do you think it's worth speaking to her form tutor to see if they have noticed anything untoward?

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sarva · 24/02/2011 22:07

Yes, I'm not sure whether I should put a call into the school - I think dd wants me to keep out of it, but I probably will anyway. She is very sensitive and can sometimes over-react and fly off the handle, but again not unusual in teens. A little part of me worries whether the health/education professionals are over-reacting, but I have to trust they know their stuff I guess. Think I'll call school tomorrow and see what they say. She still has lots of friends, busy social life, party this weekend, appears to be keeping up with course-work etc, so she is doing well I guess. Thanks for your advice again.

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Maryz · 24/02/2011 23:33

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luluzulu · 25/02/2011 20:56

i have suffered depression on and off scince about 13, if you can avoid anti-depressants then try to, i have never taken them because i heard you can get hooked on them. i always found things like walking in the park/ exercise etc helps boost your mood and clear your mind a bit. you say she has a very active social life maybe its alcohol? sorry if you find this offensive- i dont mean to be- but by her age i was into having a drink on the weekend with mates anyway point im trying to make is alcohol= depression they go hand in hand in my experience. but if she can talk to a proffesional i would say go for it just try avoiding tablets they arent the solution to lifes ups and downs..

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lazymumofteenagesons · 25/02/2011 22:52

Sorry luluzulu but 'life's ups and downs' are not the same as being clinically depressed. walking in the park and exercise can boost mood and is good for depression but without therapy its not going to go. Doesn't need necessarily to be anti depressants, but combined with other talking therapy they can do alot of good. However, I definitely believe that once someone is well they should be slowly weaned off the pills.

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sarva · 26/02/2011 20:45

Lulu, you're right she has been drinking when out, but she says she has quit now as realises it was having bad effect. We have found out that she has been missing her dance lessons - pretending to go and then instead meeting her friends. She has told me some of them are smoking weed - she denies she has, but has said she has now blocked these friends from phone/facebook. She has seriously messed up in her exams and we are to go in to see school next week. All a bit of a nightmare. She is currently grounded, but just not sure what to do now as don't want to lower her mood even more by denying access to friends, but it is clear that some of her friends were doing her no good at all and even she realises this. What a mess...

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luluzulu · 26/02/2011 21:33

oh i hope you sort it all out i do think alot of problems stem from drink and drugs and while i dont claim to know all the answers i have suffered myself and giving up alcohol and the odd joint improved my well being alot; its the 1st step in the right direction- good luck and as far as the exams go she can always go in for them again if need be

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madbirdlady · 28/02/2011 10:25

At my wits end! I have a 14 year old dd the youngset of 5 children. she has so much going for her, but she locks her self in her room says she has no friends, is ugly,has no future,hates school, hates us, hates her siblins,wont get in to uni. or get a job.All of which is rubbish, she is very pretty, the top of her year at her grammar school and as for haveing no friends she had lots but wont put her self out for them, if any ask her to go shopping with them she says no, we give her money to shop with. all she wonts to do is stay in her room crying and saying her life ia so allful (it's not she has everthing she wonts, her own room with sky tv, a wii, iphone,laptop you name it she has it, but she is so rude to everyone. it's like walking on egg shells the wrong word and she evil to everyone. she says terrable things to her dad just to upset him and it ends up with him walking out of the house in tears just to get away from her. Her sisters have tried talking to her all to no avail. Is this depression should i take her to the GP?

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sarva · 28/02/2011 12:40

I'm no expert, but I would definitely take her to the GP, sounds like she is going through a really tough time. My dd has everything going for her too, but she can't see it and trying to talk to her is pointless. I'm trying to thoughtfully look after her - meals, washing, cups of tea etc, but not try to intrude unless she initiates a conversation. Little by little she is opening up, but seems like she just finds it very hard to derive pleasure from anything right now.. As a start I'm sure GP would help. In my case my dd felt at last someone believed what she was feeling was real. Good luck.

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SWSW · 28/02/2011 18:11

To Sarva and others - I have been through this with my daughter and can't praise CAMHS highly enough. She was given as much counselling as she needed and this (together with mild anti-depressants which she has now finished - so no, not addictive) helped her through a very dark time. She's now happily at university which is something I never thought she would achieve when her depression was diagnosed at 15. She needed lots of love and support and wasn't easy to live with but we are now out the other side. So good luck and do take the help that is offered.

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noscat · 01/03/2011 13:32

I had the opposite experience with CAMHS, but that's not to say that they aren't fantastic and exactly right for lots of people. Unfortunately not my DD!

Just to let you know Sarva, my DD is on her second week of Anti-Ds and so far so good - sleeping well, no longer nocturnal, trying to get out for walks during the day and still no alcohol or drugs.

Do you know when your appointment is yet?

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LisaHypno · 04/03/2011 19:50

Thinking of the positives of these teens sound like they (by and large) are talking about their feelings and have very supportive parents. There is a lot of research evidence to support the use of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)and it is the NICE recommended treatment for mild to moderate depression. Whilst I have a few reservations about this (CBT is not for everyone) I do use CBT in my work and it can provide valuable skills for young people which can help to prevent reccurring cycles of depression. I use a very practical workbook called "Mind over Mood" by Greenburger and Padesky and there are good online resources - including a quiz style format - don't have the reference to hand but I'll go and have a look after I've posted this. Overcoming depression can be a matter of taking very small steps - yes exercise and fresh air is great but not if getting your child out is yet another cause of tension. The really positive thing about identifying depression at this age is that their is tremendous capacity for change at this age. Wishing you well.

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sarva · 07/03/2011 11:47

Thank you. Will check out reference. It's been over 2wks since last GP appt and no word from CAHMS and no improvement - in fact seems worse if anything. On advice of school I've made a GP appt for myself tonight to see if that might help. Also wondering about private CBT counselling. Feeling pertty desperate. Noscat would be good to keep in touch - will see if I can send you a private message if you're up for that, but no worries if not. Thanks for all your messages anyway.

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LisaHypno · 07/03/2011 13:02

Hi there,
I've just had a look and the online resource I mentioned is MoodGYM - it's cited by the British Association of Psychiatrists as a credible resource. The site is Australian but clients who have used it have not found that a problem. Having just had a look they now have a new resource called Ecouch which looks promising. (So thanks for prompting me to take a fresh look at this!) With teens the online approach can be especially useful as it gives them autonomy. I'm a hypnotherapist and see a lot of people who are depressed to some extent (whether or not that is there primary reason for seeking therapy) but I'm not a Doctor and so don't make a diagnosis about depression. In my experience CAMHS are over burdened services and unfortunately you do have to keep the pressure up to get seen. Hope this helps.

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noscat · 07/03/2011 13:50

Hi Sarva, I'm happy to keep in touch, by all means send me a private message, hopefully I will be able to open it! I really hope it goes well tonight with the GP - as LisaHypno said keep pushing until you get the help you need.

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sarva · 08/03/2011 09:48

GP visit was not a lot of use as they can't door say anything much due to patient confidentiality as she's over 16. The one good bit of advice was to call CAHMS which I did this morning. Her GP letter was marked urgent but due to an admin error ended up in the wrong place, so she has now been put on a priority list and they said they would give me a call Thu. Really annoyed, but glad I called them or could have been waiting even longer. Lisa, I've ordered the Mind over Mood book and will check out the online resource. Thanks so much for advice. Yes, you do need to keep pushing. Noscat will be in touch - if I can work out how to do it!!

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noscat · 08/03/2011 13:29

well at least things are moving in the right direction :) I so hope Thursday is productive. If you want to message me then I presume the inbox at the top is the way to do it but like you I haven't done it before.

Good luck for Thursday

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MrsBodger · 09/03/2011 10:44

Just wanted to thank all of you. I'm in a very similar position with my 14 year old daughter. She hasn't been to school for the best part of 9 months and has been seeing a counsellor and then a psychologist for the last six months. She'll be seeing a psychiatrist next week, and I think there's a strong chance they'll recommend ADs. Which is why I came on here, to see if anyone had experience of/info about ADs and teens, and it's quite reassuring to see that in general people seem to have found them helpful rather than harmful.

And it does help to know that other people are in the same boat - though of course I wish all these poor children better! Best of luck for tomorrow, Sarva.